Internet Problems

I'm having trouble with my internet connection today. The Bluetooth Broadband Wireless Fancy Ass Internet connection, which I paid dearly for and have had for two months now, still doesn't work. The techies have told me everything from 'Sun Spots' to 'Not Enough Air In The Tires'. I know what the problem is, but the techies won't listen to anyone. "LISTEN TO ME", I scream at them, but they go one like I don't even exist.

And my regular internet connection has decided to adopt 'Minivan Speed', if you know what I mean. I'm trying, but I'm limited in size to what I can post. Anything over say 12 bytes times out.

If I can't get this fixed very soon, I will be writing the blog by hand, rolling them up and throwing them on your front porches.