Is It A Slow News Day?

This just in from Bob from Accounting.

And Bob from Accounting, you are hereby forbidden to ever send me anything again!


Britney Spears' Breasts Celebrate 10th Birthday

Los Angeles, CA - Pop star Britney Spears breasts turned 10 years old Tuesday, and they enjoyed a crowded party with friends and family at Morton's of Beverly Hills to mark the occasion.
"I can't believe they're 10 years old," Britney told reporters as she and her breasts participated in a lively limbo contest. "They grow up so fast!"
Spears, 21, laments with both nostalgia and pride on how at age 11 her breasts were first born. "It was a surprise actually. They weren't really planned. I mean, sure I was hoping and praying, but my two little miracles popped their heads out when they were good and ready.
Spears acknowledges at first she was nervous about caring for them and asked her mother for advice. Soon after she went to the mall to purchase her first sports bra ever.
"It was a special moment. Really the first time we had a chance to bond. After that, I just gave them some freedom and let them grow into their own. Now we have a very special relationship that has lasted through good times and bad."
"I'm thrilled that they got a chance to see me make it in the music industry. I know they're as proud of me as I am of them."
Despite an ugly breakup featured in all the tabloids, former boyfriend and N'Sync member Justin Timberlake admits he sometimes misses the times the four of them spent together.
"It was special. I miss her. I miss them. But despite the fact that I don't see them as often, I still care about them and there's nothing I wouldn't do to help them if they ever needed it. I think they realize that."
Added Timberlake, "I'm still hopeful we can come to some kind of agreement for visitation rights."



UPDATE: I am very sorry to have to announce that there was indeed a cake. And it is with great sadness that I inform you I now have a photo. My apologies to everyone.