Real News, Really

Yeah, but they don't have to live with him.

Canada ads bash Bush
THUNDER BAY, Ontario (UPI) -- Two advertising campaigns in Canada have begun portraying U.S. President George Bush as unintelligent to promote education and audio book sales. Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario, launched the Web site yaleshmale.com, which features a picture of the president with a caption reading: "Graduating from an Ivy League university doesn't necessarily mean you're smart," the Canadian Free Press reported Tuesday. A second campaign, by simplyaudiobooks.ca, features billboards around Toronto depicting an image of Bush with the caption "Don't read enough?"


Oh, really? Who wants to take this one?

New book tells how to be a woman
NEW YORK (UPI) -- A British fashion journalist has published a new book that tells every modern woman to always carry a spare pair of shoes and a road map. In Camilla Morton's "How to Walk in High Heels: The Girl's Guide to Everything," she and celebrity acquaintances offer advice on such things as how to poach an egg and how to photograph well, the New York Post reports. The book recommends every woman carry two bags -- a large one and a "dainty frivolous number" to be carried into restaurants. In the larger purse, the book recommends always having "lip gloss, safety pins, sewing kit, road map, address book, diary or agenda, business cards, spare pair of shoes, Band-Aids, comb, tissues, aspirin and mints." On selecting shoes, designer Manolo Blahnik advises it is crucial to show some toe cleavage. "But be careful you only show the first two cracks -- you don't want to give too much away," Blahnik wrote.


Bobby, was that you?

Marijuana found growing outside cop shop
DULUTH, Minn. (UPI) -- The first marijuana plants found growing in Duluth, Minn., in about 10 years were thriving in public view -- in a planter outside a police station. A reporter for the Duluth News Tribune heard talk during the weekend about "something interesting" growing outside the West Duluth police substation, the newspaper reported Tuesday. Unaware of what was so "interesting" about the dozen or so 6-inch high plants in the planter outside the front door of the station, Janna Goerdt plucked a leaf and took it back to the newspaper office with her. Duluth City Gardener Tom Kasper confirmed the "weed" was marijuana Monday and took the news to police Lt. John Beyer, who said the plants went unnoticed because nobody ever uses the front entrance of the station, which is usually kept locked. "The only thing I can say is somebody has a sense of humor," Beyer said.


The naked tickler strikes again!

Naked tickle attacks resume in Florida
NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Fla. (UPI) -- A naked man who broke into central Florida homes and tickled the feet of sleeping women last year may be at it again. The culprit was never caught because none of the victims in Valusia County, Fla., had a clear description of his face, police said. There had been no reports of the tickler for some time, but now it looks like he may be back in business, WKMG-TV, Orlando, reports. A woman in New Smyrna Beach, Fla., told police she awakened at 3 a.m. Saturday to find a man wearing only a baseball cap tickling her feet. When she screamed, the man ran from her room with his hands covering his crotch, the news report said. By the time police arrived, the assailant was nowhere to be found.