Classified

These are from Carrie.

SOME NEWSPAPER ADS:

1.) FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
2.) FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
3.) FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
4.) FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
5.) FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile. Better be a reward.
6.) COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED...Also 1 gay bull for sale.
7.) NORDIC TRACK: $300 hardly used, call Chubby.
8.) GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.
9.) JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
10.) WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

AND THE BEST ONE?
11.) FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,got married last month. Wife knows everything.