Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Bitch

A story from and by Sweet.

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About a week ago, I was at the Hollywood Video Store about a mile from my home. Shortly after entering the store I felt the telltale rumbling of a real winner in the brewery, I instinctively knew it would be a bad one because I had eaten corned beef and cabbage for lunch, I love the stuff but it does not love me.
After a few minutes I had worked my way to the letter "C" in new releases and my fart had moved to the starting gate and was ready to run, I looked around and there was nobody near so I snuck it out silently, I knew it was a bad one because of the ass burn upon release. I waited a moment for it to get out of my pants, patted my butt cheek to get rid of any residue, and quickly moved to the "K" section of the new releases looking at videos with one eye and keeping the other eye on the "C" section.
After a few moments a male employee walked directly to the section to replace a video, as he was reaching toward the shelf, my land mine exploded, he froze in place dropped the video and started gagging and sprinting toward the rest room. I tried to keep a straight face and continue my video search. I was not successful; I ended up laughing so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes. Eventually, I got myself under control, found a video and went to the checkout counter where I almost made a good escape, while a female employee was checking my card and I.D. the accosted male employee returned to the checkout counter still looking a little green around the gills, at that point, I started laughing uncontrollably all over again, the male employee made me on the spot and I started laughing even harder and tried to apologize but was laughing so hard to do so. The female employee must have been told what happened and asked me "was that you?” I could only nod. She replied, "Cool, a real bitch."


Sweet
xoxoxox

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