Ole And Lena

Minnesota humor from Carrie.

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Ole and Lena

Ole and Lena were out walking and Lena clutched her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his cell phone and
called 9-1-1.

The Operator said "Where are you?"
Ole answered, "We were walking and Lena is on the sidewalk on Eucalyptus Street .."
The operator asked, "How do you spell that?"

The phone seemed to go dead. The operator kept shouting for Ole. She could hear him panting. He finally came back on line and said, "I dragged her over to Oak Street , that's 0-A-K

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Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them
to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't
handle the load and went down a few moments after takeoff.

Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, "Any idea where we are?" "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed last year"

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Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo ?"
"Yust a minute," said the busy clerk.
"Vell," said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll yust take da bus."
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Lars, the bartender, asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norwegian and a canoe?"

"No, I don't," answered Ole.

" A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
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Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, Deere gose five dollars down da drain for
dat flight insurance!"
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Lars: "Ole, stant in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working."

Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No.."
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Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena 's knee.

Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to."

So Ole drove to Duluth

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Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.

"Have you eaten your banana yet?" Ole asked excitedly.
"No," replied Lars.

"Vell, don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed, "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"

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Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.

"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet."

"How come?" asked Lars.

"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing"
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Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and asked, "Are you a pole vaulter?"

Ole replied, "No, I'm Norvegian and my name ain't Valter."

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Und dot's enough!!