When Sex Isn't Enough

This is a survey which was done by Vue Weekly magazine.

No, I don't know why.

And no, I don't understand most of them!

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SEX, LUST & LOVE SURVEY
WHAT IS THE BEST TERM YOU HAVE HEARD FOR A CRAZY SEX ACT OR POSITION?

The Angry Pirate: during anal sex, you pull out and draw angry eyebrows \ / with your dirty dick. Then cum in her eye and kick her in the shin. If done properly, she will be angry and hopping around on one leg with her eye squinted.

German Plunger: one girl sucking your balls while the other gives you head.

Barberspank: the act of rubbing one out under the cape while getting a haircut.

The Helicopter: the girl lies face down with her ass raised, the guy penetrates and tries to balance his stomach on her ass with his legs stretched into the air behind him. Like a helicopter.

Icing the funcakes: cumming on the breasts of your partner.

Steaming Teakettle: simultaniously giving a Cleveland Steamer (shit on the chest), teabagging and pissing in their mouth.

Spiderman: cum in your hand and throw it at your partner and yell Spiderman!

The Princeton Rub: from the 1920s, a derogatory term used by Yale students to put down Princeton students. Suggested that the Princeton men were too afraid to impregnate their girlfriends so they slid their members between the women’s thighs.

Pork roast: 1 girl, 2 guys, one on either end.

Candy cane: When you do her doggy, smash her face into the head board, turn her around and cum on her face. The blood from her nose mixes with cum … Candycane. (for the record, a woman told us about this one!)

Tony Danza: A donkey punch but you yell, “Who’s the Boss” when you hit the chick.

Rusty trombone: Eat out an asshole while giving the guy a hand job.

The Paddington: When a guy cums all over his girlfriend’s teddy bear.

Mint Julip: Place a mint inside the vagina and proceed with oral sex.