Attention All True Americans

To All Patriots
Be Sure To Participate In This Important Event
To Help Weed Out All Terrorists Hiding Among Us
Mark Your Calendar For Next Saturday!

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.

So next Saturday at 4 PM. Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their houses completely naked in a patriotic effort to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.

Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-terrorist sentiment.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this much needed anti-terrorist activity.