It's Funny Cause It's True!

Crime

Late one night in the Washington D.C. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"

Perfection

The preacher said, "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anyone present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up." Nobody stood up. "Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up." One elderly gentleman stood up. "Are you honestly saying you knew an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat amazed. "Well now, I didn't know him personally," replied the little old man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband."

And Yet Another Lawyer Joke...

The priest was instructing a class of third- graders at All Saints grammar school.

"There were two brothers, and one of them chose the wicked path of Satan. The brother was evil and corrupt and did great damage to many people, and wound up a convicted criminal in a tiny, dark cell.

"But the other brother studied hard and became a great, rich, knowledgeable lawyer.

"Now, children, what is the difference between these two brothers, who started out in the same place, who together embarked upon life's stormy seas?"

Herman raised his hand and said, "Easy. One of them got caught."