Headlines

These are all real headlines from various newspapers.

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EYE DROPS OFF SHELF

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PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

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KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

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STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE

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LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS

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QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED

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DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON

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MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

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MILK DRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER

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DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

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JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

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COMPLAINTS ABOUT NBA REFEREES GROWING UGLY

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PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

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POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

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12 ON THEIR WAY TO CRUISE AMONG DEAD IN PLANE CRASH

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KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS

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SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED

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2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS AT CHECKOUT COUNTER

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MAN EATING PIRANHA MISTAKENLY SOLD AS PET FISH

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ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

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QUARTER OF A MILLION CHINESE LIVE ON WATER

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INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN WHEN BAKING COOKIES

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OLD SCHOOL PILLARS ARE REPLACED BY ALUMNI

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GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE

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HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

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LAWMEN FROM MEXICO BARBECUE GUESTS

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TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES

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ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX

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LACK OF BRAINS HINDERS RESEARCH

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RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE

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SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM

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IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

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HERSHEY BARS PROTEST