Dumb Quotes

Things that make you go "Duh !!!"

There is no shortage of them!

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Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. - Yogi Berra

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. - Dick Cavett

We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people. - Colonel Gerald Wellman

If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. - Terry Venables

If only faces could talk. - Pat Summerall

I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to. - Linda Evangelista

The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe. - Mayor Frank Rizzo

Most lies about blondes are false. - Cincinnati Times-Star

Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver. - Carol Malia

I would not like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. - Miss Alabama 1994

I feel my best when I’m happy. - Winona Ryder

I invented the internet. - Al Gore

In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7. Well, I want you all to know that I’m keeping a chart. - Hillary Clinton

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them. - George H. W. Bush

It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another. - George H. W. Bush

I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our fifty-two states. - Raquel Welch

I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. - Mayor David Dinkins

I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am. - Homer Simpson

I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police. - Keith Richards

If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat? - Tom Snyder

It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Dan Quayle

It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system. - Dan Quayle

Solar energy is not something that is going to come in overnight. - Gerald Ford

If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave. - Gerald Ford

When a man is asked to make a speech, the first thing he has to decide is what to say. - Gerald Ford

I watch a lot of baseball on the radio. - Gerald Ford

I do not intend for this to take a political tone. I’m just here for the drugs. - Nancy Reagan