Today's News

I can't make this stuff up. And I'm not.

YPSILANTI, Mich. (UPI) -- A 5-year-old Michigan boy who was mad at his grandmother decided to find his mommy -- driving his grandmother's SUV. Police in Ypsilanti realized something was wrong when they got a call from a driver who reported almost being hit by a Cadillac Escalade with what appeared to be a child in the driver's seat, the Ann Arbor News reported. In fact, the boy was so short that he had to stand to see over the dashboard.

And he probably passed half the cars on the road.

MANCHESTER, England (UPI) -- A survey of young women by a British magazine found almost 80 percent of the respondents admit to spending more than they earn.
The young women in the survey said they think "their life is much better than their mother's was at the same age."

And may I just add, DUH!

SUFFOLK, Va. (UPI) -- Two Whaleyville, Va., residents were stunned when a naked man accosted their car in their driveway and began hitting it with their pet pigeon. The couple had just pulled into their driveway Friday night when Juan Lopez, 30, of Virginia Beach, appeared naked and began striking their car with the bird, the Virginian Pilot reported Tuesday. They fled to a neighbor's house and called police who found the suspect in nearby woods. A Suffolk, Va., police spokeswoman told the newspaper Lopez was "obviously having some sort of issues that night."

Issues? DOUBLE DUH!

LONDON (UPI) -- Britain's Channel 4 is sponsoring a rather unusual "-a-thon" in London as part of what it's calling "Wank Week." The documentary -- with the working title of "Wank-a-Thon" -- will chronicle an Aug. 5 charity event sponsored by the San Francisco-based Center for Sex and Culture, MediaGuardian.co.uk reported Tuesday.

No comment. No way. No how!

If you're annoyed by people using cell phones while driving, your argument could be stronger than you thought. New research indicates that driving while talking on the phone is as bad as driving while legally drunk. What's being done -- or not done -- about this growing danger?

I know! People are calling on their cellphones while driving to complain!