The Top 5 Signs Your Local Terrorists Are Inept

These are great. I wish we had terrorists like this.

5. They've drawn up an elaborate plan to bomb Wrigley Field during the World Series.

4. Flew a hang glider into a White Castle because they thought the king lived there.

3. Their demands include full recognition by the International House of Pancakes.

2. They were denied a permit for their "Foolish Americans Take-No-Prisoners Death Parade" because they couldn't sell enough al-Qaeda Scout cookies for the fee.

And the Number 1 Sign Your Local Terrorists Are Inept...
1. "We have Paris Hilton. Do exactly as we say or you'll never see her again."