News From Irene
Twenty Dollars
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bankbook which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
posted by Tramp at
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
2 Comments:
Sounds like the same kind of hard-hitting humor you'd find in Playboy.
On that note: Two guys are waiting at the Pearly Gates. One guy turns to the other and says "So, how did you die?"
"Oh, I froze to death. How 'bout you?"
The other man paused to consider, and said, "Well, it's kind of a long story." They had all the time in the world, so the freezing victim invited him to go on. "See, I knew my wife had been cheating on me for some time, so I decided to come home early to surprise her in bed with her lover. Except, when I got there, she was in bed, nude, but alone. I knew he had to be in the house, though, so I searched through all the closets. I ran into the basement and tore it apart, looking for him. I ran back up the stairs, and tore into the attack. When I reached the top of the stairs, I clutched my chest. I couldn't breathe, and I was in pain, and then, all of a sudden, I was here."
The man who froze to death laughed and said, "You know, that's ironic. If you'd have checked the freezer first, we'd both still be alive today."
Thanks Pete, you've just earned your own post. And, of course, a promo.
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