URGENT! IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS!!!
Tramp’s Riverbank (NASDAQ symbol TRB, Up 3 ¾, Close 107.75) announced today that Southern Girl was accepted on the board of directors as a professional advisor.
The move was unexpected in the industry. The announcement caused TRB stock to jump by two points in the closing minutes on Wall Street today.
When contacted, Yahoo! had this to say, "What? That Bastard! We were just getting ready to put the moves on her!"
Tramp was quoted as saying, “Best move we ever made”.
Southern Girl was unavailable for comment as she was somewhere on the Gulf Of Mexico on her private yacht, 'Slip Sliding Away'.
Paparazzi, attempting to get exclusive interviews, were disappointed by Southern Girl’s amazing ability to vanish into thin air.
Film at eleven.
posted by Tramp at
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
2 Comments:
*sneaks past paparazzi, off the "Slip Sliding Away" and onto the Riverbank*
why, thank you kind sir, i am beyond flattered.
i'll do my best to live up to your expectations, and perform my duties (whatever those may be) to the best of my abilites.
*wonders if this position allows beer as part of its professional advisor benefits package*
Your job description is the same as mine. It has two requirements.
1. Drink beer.
2. Complain.
The benefits package includes free beer from every beer store in a ten mile radius of your house.
Be sure to explain this carefully to them as no one has been able to get this benefit to work yet!
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