Funnies From Trev

WARNING: These jokes are bad. So bad in fact, that they are funny.

Tom was in Las Vegas gambling and having a run of bad luck. He lost all his money and was now waiting for his bank to wire him some more. He was on his way up to his hotel room when he meets a beautiful hooker in the elevator. He is smitten with her and tells her that he wants to make love to her right now.
The hooker says, "Honey, if you got the cash, we can make your wish come true."
Tom realizes he doesn't have any money on him yet and tells the hooker that he will have the money in about an hour or so.
The hooker says, "No money, no lovin'"
Tom pleads with her but the hooker does not give in. She tells him that when he gets the money she will be more than happy to oblige him, but she actually does find Tom attractive so she reaches over to his pants, unzips his fly, takes his penis in her hand and then proceeds to write on it the following - Gloria 357-6262, when you have $$$.
Tom returns to his room and a couple of hours later, the money from his bank finally arrives. He immediately rushes to the phone to call his "dream woman". He unzips his pants so he can retrieve the number off his penis, but alas his erection was gone and in order to read the number he starts rubbing his penis frantically.
At that very moment, the maid entered his room to clean and shrieked at this sight.
Tom says to the maid, "Don't worry, I'm just trying to make a phone call."


Frannie went to the doctor, saying she had a problem with her aviaries.
The doctor said, "Frannie, you're being silly. You mean ovaries. Aviaries are where you find birds."
Frannie shook her head and said she meant *aviaries*.
Not prepared to argue, the doctor told her to get on the couch for an inspection.
After a quick look, he said, "Well, Frannie, you're right! There's been a cockatoo in there."


A woman was helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to choose and enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in, "p..e..n..i..s".
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*****PASSWORD REJECTED * NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

An old man made it shakily through the door to the world famous Mustang Ranch, outside Reno, Nevada. The receptionist stared at him.
"You gotta be in the wrong place," she exclaimed. "What are you looking for?"
"Ain't this the famous Mustang Ranch? Ain't this where you got four or five girls ready-n-able?"
The receptionist looked perplexed, "Ready for what?"
"I want a girl," the old man rasped. "I wanna get some action."
"How old are you, Pop?" she asked.
"Ninety- two," he replied.
"Ninety-two? Pop, you've HAD it!"
"Oh," said the old man, a little disconcerted as his trembling fingers reached for his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

A man went to the tattoo parlor and had the words "yes" and "no" tattooed on his penis. When he got home that night, he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants and shorts, revealing his aroused organ and its new tattoo.
"What do you think, honey?" he asked his wife.
Deliberately she said, "You tell me how to cook, you tell me how to clean the house, you tell me how to do the laundry, and now you're going to put words in my mouth?"

A guy with a huge dick has a lot of trouble trying to get a girl. When they see the size of his pecker they make their excuses and leave.
So he thinks of a cunning plan, meets a hooker and asks her, "Do you mind if we do it my way?"
"What way is that?" she asks.
"Oh, I would just like you to wear a blindfold" he replies.
"Is that all? No problem, let's go to my place," she answers.
They walk the short distance to her apartment.
Whilst taking off their clothes he puts the blindfold on her.
"Why do you want me to wear a blindfold?" she asks.
"Because of my religion" he answers.
"What religion is that?" she asks.
"I'm an agnostic," he says, getting on top of her.
"Hmmm, an agnostic. I've heard of those. You're one of those people who doesn't believe in

......................J E S U S C H R I S T!"