Three From Trev

A girl walked up to the information desk in a hospital and asked to see the "upturn."
"I think you mean the 'intern,' don't you?" asked the nurse on duty.
"Yes," said the girl. "I want to have a 'contamination.'"
"You mean 'examination,'" the nurse corrected her.
"Well I want to go to the 'fraternity ward,' anyway."
"I'm sure you mean the maternity ward."
To which the girl replied: "Upturn, intern; contamination, examination; fraternity, maternity, what's the difference? All I know is I haven't demonstrated in two months and I think I'm stagnant."

***

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.
They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth going bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that one falling victim to temptation."
Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity-one of the girls must be quite ill."

***

A guy goes in a bar and orders a beer. After a while this really gorgeous woman walks in and sits beside him.
He smiles at her and says: "Hi. Would you like me to buy you a drink?"
The woman turns to him and screams to the top of her lungs: "WHAT? YOU WANT TO F*CK ME? NO WAY!"
Every discussion in the bar suddenly stops and all the people are staring at the guy as the woman was leaving. The guy gets really embarrassed and stands still on his stool as if nothing had happened.
After a while the same woman walks back in, approaches him and tells him: "I'm sorry about that little incident earlier but you see I'm a psychology graduate and I wanted to see how people react to embarrassing situations."
The guy then yells: "WHAT? TWO HUNDRED BUCKS FOR A BLOWJOB?"