The Want Ads

These are for real, they were all once published in a newspaper.

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Actual Newspaper Ads
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AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART DOG

TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700

2 TINKLE ME ELMO DOLLS - BEST OFFER

'83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

GERMAN SHEPHERD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.

FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50

NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE at:

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG... LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE... BETTER BE A REWARD.

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

CUTE KITTEN FOR SALE, 2 CENTS OR BEST OFFER

NICE PARACHUTE - NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

WHIRLPOOL BUILT IN OVEN -- FROST FREE!

BARBIE COUNTRY RIDE -- (note: most dolls cannot pedal the bike).

'93 PONTIAC LEMONS - LOW MILES

AMERICAN FLAG - 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED - $100

KITTENS 8 WEEKS OLD - SEEKING GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME.

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE SONGS OF THE '50s: =20 INCLUDING "16 TONS" BY TENNESSEE ERNIE FORD

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRING - $175.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY, MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER - $300.