Two From Trev

A bad influence, that Trev is.

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Ira and Abe, now in their eighties, first met in grade school. Their relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.
One day Ira calls Abe and says, "I bet you that mine is longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars."
Abe replies, "How can that be? If you know anything about biology you..."
Ira interrupts, "I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine is longer soft than yours is hard... a thousand dollars... YES OR NO?"
Abe says, "OK, OK! I'll take that bet. How long is yours soft?"
Ira answers, "Eleven years."


A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left. When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in front of the clerk.
He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her, "Do you want a screw for that hinge?"
She looked back at him and said "No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window."