Kinky aka Live Fish

From Irene.

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It seems John had been experimenting with an unusual method of seeking autoerotic gratification; namely, inserting a live fish into his anus.
What he hadn't counted on was the fish's fins acting, in effect, like one of those sets of driveway spikes that allow you to drive over them one way but puncture your tires if you try to go the other way.
In his pain and panic, he dialed emergency.
The EMT arrived, surveyed the situation, and said, "John, you just have learn to chew your food better."