Here Is A Product We Need

It's the 'Asshole Card'.



Each card is scored but not folded
so you can present them as is
or fold them up so that the recipient only sees "Congrats!" before they get "You're An Asshole"
and "Now Let's Discuss Why That Is". Then they have the cold hard truth on the other side.








Back of the card reads:

Congrats, You’re An Asshole

Assholes rarely know

why they are the way they are,

so here’s a clue for you

on your journey of self-improvement

• Double parking
• Parking in handicap space
• Leaving dog in car
• Not shoveling sidewalk
• Creating your own parking space
• Talking really loudly on cell phone while riding public transportation
• Being a loud inconsiderate neighbor
• Cutting in line
• Bringing sixteen items to the fifteen-item express lane
• Not tipping / not tipping enough
• Not cleaning up after yourself
• Not controlling dog
• Not giving up seat on public transportation when someone obviously needs it more than you
• Walking three abreast on city sidewalks
• Leaving trash outside your apartment door
• Not dealing with car alarm
• Excessive car-horn honking
• Leaving kids in car
• Leaving your car idling while you run into the store
• Snacking on produce and bulk items in grocery store
• Opening car door without looking and endangering cyclists
• Smoking in non-smoking areas
• Taking up too much time with teller because you don't understand how banking works
• Using an ATM for 18 consecutive transactions when people are waiting
• Not letting others cut grocery line if they have only a couple items
• Berating service people for things not their fault
• Parking too close to other cars thereby blocking them in
• Not letting others out of the train/bus/store/post office before pushing way in
• Not making more coffee when you finish the pot
• Wearing too much perfume or cologne
• Stopping to chat or look around in front of doorway, elevator or escalator
• Leaving laundry sitting idle in machine at laundromat
• Littering
• Talking loudly on cell phone
• Not holding the door for the person behind you whose arms are full
• Using Barnes & Noble as den
• Bringing child to R-rated film
• Stinking up office with foul meals and snacks
• Trying to sneak through a yellow light, ending up parked in intersection, blocking traffic
• Sneezing without covering nose and offering snotty handshake
• Not wiping equipment down after you've gotten it sweaty at gym
• Not washing hands after using washroom