Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Ohioian

The Land Between The Lake And The River
...
You know you're from Ohio if...
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You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.
.
You snicker when someone's from Tiffin,
because you think of the State Hospital.
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You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
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You've heard of 3.2% beer.
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Schools close for the state basketball tournament. Deer season, too.
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You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.
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You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter,
Almost Winter, and Construction.
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You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
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You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
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"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
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You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.
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You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio
as soon as they open their mouths.
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You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there.
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You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine,and Tuscarawas *(Wapakoneta?) and you know which letter is doubled in "Cincinnati."
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You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.
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You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.
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You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.
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"Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island.
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You measure distance in minutes.
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Down south to you means Kentucky.
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Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
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Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
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You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
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You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
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You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
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You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example: "Where's my coat at?"
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You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
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You think of the major four food groups as
beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
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You carry jumper cables in your car.
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You know what pop is.
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You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
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Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
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You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
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The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page
but requires 6 pages for sports.
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You think that deer season is a national holiday.
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You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
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You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country.
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You actually understand these jokes!
.
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