True Story

Except for the big guy, of course.
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This is what happened to me tonight. I seem to lead a rather interesting life. Why does this shit always happen to me?

I'm driving down the road, minding my own business, when I hear something go 'BAM'. Something hit me hard! It was a loud noise, woke me up and everything! Next thing I know, I'm in a deep ditch, laying on my side.

Well I ain't stupid, I know what happened. Must be some big guy out there knocking trucks off the road. He ain't knocking trucks off the road cause he's happy ! I ain't going out there!

I'm figuring what I can do from in here. Not much. I can put it in gear and try to drive, but I'm on my side. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, though. I hit the gas, the tires spin, and I ain't moving. Shit!

Well, I still got four wheel drive. I put it in four high, I hit the gas, the tires spin, and I still ain't moving. SHIT!!!

Now hold on, I ain't out of ideas yet! I turn the wheel full right, and hit the gas.The back of the front tire catches something and flips me back on my wheels. I crawl out of that ditch and head back down the road. WHOA!!!

As I'm driving along I make a decision. That's it, I decide. I'm staying awake for the rest of this trip to watch for that big guy. Next time, I'm going around him!