One Interpretation

From TZ, who likes to think differently.
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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

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40-ish....................................................49.

Adventurous...................Slept with everyone.

Athletic...................................No breasts.

Average looking............................Moooo.

Beautiful......................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure.........On medication.

Feminist....................................Fat.

Free Spirit.............................Junkie.

Friendship first.................Former slut.

New-Age.....Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned..............................No B.J.'s

Open-minded..............................Desperate.

Outgoing.....................Loud and embarrassing.

Professional.........................................Bitch.

Voluptuous.........................................Very fat.

Large frame......................................Hugely fat.

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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

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Yes...............................................................No

No............................................................Yes

Maybe.......................................................No

We need..............................................I want

We need to talk....................You're in trouble

Sure, go ahead...........................You better not

Do what you want...........You will pay for this later

I am not upset........Of course, I am upset, you moron!

You're attentive tonight...Is sex all you ever think about?

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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

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I am hungry.............................I am hungry

I am sleepy.....................................I am sleepy

I am tired..............................................I am tired

Nice dress..............................................Nice cleavage!

I love you...............................................Let's have sex now

I am bored...........................................Do you want to have sex?

May I have this dance?...................I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime?.............I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you to a movie?.......I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you to dinner?......I'd like to have sex with you.

Those shoes do not go with that outfit.............I'm gay