Wednesday, March 12, 2008

One Interpretation


From TZ, who likes to think differently.
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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
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40-ish....................................................49.
Adventurous...................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...................................No breasts.
Average looking............................Moooo.
Beautiful......................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.........On medication.
Feminist....................................Fat.
Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
Friendship first.................Former slut.
New-Age.....Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned..............................No B.J.'s
Open-minded..............................Desperate.
Outgoing.....................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional.........................................Bitch.
Voluptuous.........................................Very fat.
Large frame......................................Hugely fat.
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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
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Yes...............................................................No
No............................................................Yes
Maybe.......................................................No
We need..............................................I want
We need to talk....................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead...........................You better not
Do what you want...........You will pay for this later
I am not upset........Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight...Is sex all you ever think about?
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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
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I am hungry.............................I am hungry
I am sleepy.....................................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................................I am tired
Nice dress..............................................Nice cleavage!
I love you...............................................Let's have sex now
I am bored...........................................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?...................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?.............I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to a movie?.......I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to dinner?......I'd like to have sex with you.
Those shoes do not go with that outfit.............I'm gay

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