Random Bits

From TZ in Chicago.

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I played golf with a drug company sales rep. He told me of a drug that his company has under development. This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends that they consider buying stock in the company.
The drug is called "Gingko Viagra," and its function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing.
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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
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I drink in moderation.
'Moderation' is an imaginary place that exists wherever I am.
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One morning a man comes into church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches.
An altar boy witnessed the episode and runs into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.
Without batting an eye, the priest says, 'Son, you've just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man?'
'Flat on his ass, Father, over by the holy water.'