You Know You Need A New Lawyer When...

-The prosecutors see who your lawyer is and they high-five each other.
-During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
-He tells you that his last good case was "Budweiser."
-He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
-During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
-He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
-Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
-He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
-He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

Thanks to TZ at Laffaday.