New Worker Evaluation Form

I just came up with a new woker evaluation form for my employees. I don't think they like it. Some people are just never pleased. Here is a copy. I don't see the problem.


Monthly overall work evaluation
Name: _____________________ Date: _______________
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KNOWLEDGE:__ Really knows what he's doing.
__ Knows just enough to be dangerous.
__ Only half a brain and is dangerous.
__ His coffee cup has a higher I.Q.
____________________________________________________
ACCURACY: __ Does excellent work is not preoccupied.
__ Pretty good accuracy with large numbers.
__ Must take off shoes to count above ten.
__ What's a number?
_____________________________________________________
ATTITUDE: __ Extremely co-operative.
__ Brown noser in good standing.
__ Often annoys co-workers and fights.
__ Doesn't care, never did, never will.
_____________________________________________________
RELIABILE:__ Works so hard he gets extra days off.
__ Very dependable.
__ Rely on his being first one out the door.
__ Absolutely totally worthless.
_____________________________________________________
APPEARANCE: __ Extremely neat and clean.
__ Looks great on his day off.
__ Flies take him over fresh manure.
__ Dirt, filthy, smelly, and ugly.
_____________________________________________________
PERFORMANCE: __ Works hard if money is involved.
__ Does great work--at evaluation time.
__ Works well after ten cups of coffee.
__ Couldn't do less if he were in a coma.
_____________________________________________________
LEADERSHIP: __ Carries chainsaw and gets good results.
__ Macho attitude. Commands total disgust.
__ One time some listened to him whine.
__ Unable to lead even the most ignorant.
_____________________________________________________
I understand that I have been counseled and understand
my rights under the privacy act of 1974. I further
acknowledge that I am as stupid as a football bat,
and I will make some attempt to correct my deficiencies.
_______________________________________
Employee signature