The News, Really

These are all items in the news today. Really.

Deer gets inside house, attacks Ohio woman
BROADVIEW HEIGHTS, Ohio - A 75-year-old northeast Ohio woman is recovering from injuries she received this week when a deer got into her home and attacked her. Mary Blake of suburban Cleveland opened her patio door Wednesday to let her border collie back inside and was shocked when a female deer followed close behind.
Blake says she tried to shut the door, but the deer knocked it off track and then knocked into Blake and started stomping her.
Blake frantically called police as the deer damaged her walls, furniture and some keepsakes.
Two police officers arrived and were able to coax the deer outside.
Blake was treated at the hospital for bruises and cuts on her arms, legs and stomach. She has 27 stitches on her right knee.

How Gay Is Superman?
He's clearly into fitness, and splashy summer colors.
The new film about the Man of Steel, "Superman Returns" — which comes out, er, on June 28 — is being advertised on Logo, the gay and lesbian cable TV channel. Now, the gay magazine, The Advocate, is asking "How Gay Is Superman?"


Bear eats oatmeal in woman's kitchen
It was a real-life version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears — only in reverse — when a woman came home to find a young bear eating oatmeal in her kitchen.
The bear apparently entered through an open sliding glass door, broke a ceramic food container and started eating, West Vancouver police Sgt. Paul Skelton said.
"It sounds like a nursery rhyme, doesn't it?" Skelton said. "At least we have a health-conscious bear on our hands."
Three police officers who went to the home Thursday couldn't get the bear to budge, so authorities let the animal finish its meal.
"The bear didn't appear to be aggressive and wasn't destroying the house, so they just let it do what it was doing and eventually the bear decided to make its way out of the residence and down toward a forested gully," Skelton said. "It ended the best it could."
Skelton said bears in the suburbs north of Vancouver have been coming out of hibernation as hungry as ever but later than usual but this spring because of a heavier than normal snowpack from the winter. The report Thursday was one of six complaints police said they received about bears in the area that day.