When Life Begins

Several people around here have turned fifty this year, including, but not limited to, Geno and Corrine.

This is in honor of them.

When Life Begins
* Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else is starting to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
* There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two.
* You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
* Middle age is when work is a lot less fun -- and fun is a lot more work.
* Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Now isn't that a great time for a guy to get those kind of odds?
* You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
* Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
* By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
* Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
* A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
* You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
* You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
* You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before!
* The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
* It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
* When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.
* You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.