Two From Trev

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."


One day, a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up, to look over, and there was little Johnny, sitting on the toilet playing with himself. The priest was shocked. He told Johnny that he knew what he was doing in there and that he should save it for marriage. Little Johnny agreed to this only because it was coming from a priest. About a week later, the priest ran into Johnny at the mall and asked him how he was doing with his problem.
Johnny replied, "Great father! I've saved a whole quart!"