SHE WAS SO BLONDE

..... she tripped over a cordless phone
.... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
.... she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
.... she got stabbed in a shoot-out
.... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
.... she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
.... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
.... she tried to drown a fish
.... she thought a quarterback was a refund
.... she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
.... if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back
.... they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
.... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
.... she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
.... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius"
.... she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
.... it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
.... if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
.... she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
.... she sold the car for gas money
.... when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends
.... when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
.... when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.