Funnies From Trev

A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone.
He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"
She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody any time, any where, any place, it doesn't matter to me."
The guy raises his eyebrows and says, "No kidding? What law firm do you work for?"


Willie the Whale and his whale girlfriend, Monica, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat.
On seeing the boat, Willie says, "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!"
Monica says, "Oh, I don't know..."
"Come on, it'll be fun, come on, just this once!" says Willie.
Monica agrees and they swim up under the boat and blow out, capsizing the boat and sending hapless sailors into the briny blue.
As they are swimming away, Willie says, "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it? Hey! I've got another idea! Let's swim back there and eat all the sailors!"
To which Monica, exasperated, replies, "Look, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."


A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff's neighborhood.
"How often a week do you sleep with your wife?" asked the inquirer.
"Three times," Jeff said without hesitation.
"That is once more often than your neighbor," the inquirer said, writing.
"That makes sense," Jeff said, "after all, she's my wife."


Two gay guys are in a San Francisco bathhouse using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it.
He looks at the other guy and says, "I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis."
The other one replies, "It's working just fine. I'm down to two butts a day.


"While, I was recovering from surgery and spending most of the day in bed, my six-year-old son asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. I told him the television was my boyfriend, and it entertained me all the time. The only problem was the television set was old and would just shut off for no reason. But, I would just give it a few hard wacks on the side and it would come back on, which was no big deal.
A couple of days later the pastor stopped by to check on my recovery. I was trying to get the television to come back on so, my son answered the door.
The pastor smiled and asked, "Is your mom busy, son?"
My little one looked up at him and replied, "No, sir, she is just in the bedroom banging her boyfriend."


A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied his mother.
The young boy answered, "The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary."