Thank Carrie For This

State Of The Union coverage from the Carbolic Smoke Ball.

BUSH CLAIMS HE DOES NOT TAKE SIDES AMONG IRAQ'S WARRING FACTIONS:
"I DON'T KNOW SHIITE FROM SHINOLA"

"ROONEY RULE" WILL REQUIRE ALL AMERICAN VOTERS TO INTERVIEW BARACK OBAMA PRIOR TO 2008 ELECTION

OUR STATE OF THE UNION ROUND-UP "Where the hell am I?"

BUSH ASKS CONGRESS FOR PATIENCE WITH IRAQ , “ALL WE ARE SAYING IS, GIVE WAR A CHANCE,” SAYS EMBATTLED PRESIDENT

PRESIDENT BREAKS WITH TRADITION, OPENS STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS BY PRESENTING SPEAKER WITH FLOWERS, CANDY
Chief Executive, In Stage Whisper, Asks Joint House of Congress, “Don’t You Just Love How She’s Wearing Her Hair These Days?”

BUSH TELLS NATION HE'S LOOKED AT IRAQ SITUATION CLOSELY AND HAS THE SOLUTION
"WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT . . ."

SENATOR BYRD HOSPITALIZED FOR EXHAUSTION, DOCTORS CITE REPEATED CLAPPING, STANDING, SITTING DURING STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS AS PRIMARY CAUSE

PRESIDENT BUSH USES STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS TO CHALLENGE THE NATION, VOWS TO PUT A MAN ON ROSIE O’DONNELL BY 2018

SENATORS CLINTON, OBAMA, SPEND ENTIRE STATE OF THE UNION ATTEMPTING TO TRICK EACH OTHER INTO APPLAUDING, RISING FROM SEAT AT INAPPROPRIATE MOMENTS

BUSH: "State of union strong. Support the troops, end addiction to foreign oil, pretty girls and puppies make me smile."
Bush advances little new ground; Cheney dozes, ogles Speaker Pelosi; President reprimands Justices Roberts and Alito for not applauding.
WASHINGTON - President Bush trod startling little new ground in his State of the Union address last night. Three events, however, livened up an otherwise moribund affair. While the President was outlining his technology initiative to end America's dependence on foreign oil, the head of dozing Vice President Cheney slumped over into the lap of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Bush, pausing mid-sentence to acknowledge a wave of tittering, glanced behind him and quipped, "Where's my camera when I need it?" Cheney awakened to the roar of laughter that greeted the line. The Vice President's office later explained that Mr. Cheney is taking a special medication for an alleged tennis elbow that "makes him drool and that forces his head involuntarily to droop, sometimes into the laps of persons next to him."

Midway through the speech, the President stopped and called for a "drink break -- for Republicans only."

The other unplanned moment occurred when an obviously disgusted Bush chided the four Supreme Court members in attendance for not joining Congress in applauding the speech. The President singled out Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Alito. "You know, both you guys are new to this thing, but already you're acting like the rest of those clowns [Supreme Court Justices]. You sit there stone-faced, like you don't get what I'm saying up here. These are the jokes, man! Show some damn life, and remember who put you there."

Following the President's speech, Howard Stern delivered the Democrats rebuttal, but most of Stern's statement was censored.