Tuesday, March 06, 2007

More Quotes

This time I'm shooting for funny!

Humorous Quotes about Drinks/Drunks/Wine/Liquor/Alcohol

Definition:
An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor. ~ Alvan L. Barach


For :
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.~ Lord Byron

The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk. ~ Alben W. Barkley
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts. ~ Finley Peter Dunne
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't. ~ William Faulkner
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. ~ W. C. Fields
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. ~ W. C. Fields
Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure. ~ Ernest Hemingway
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man. ~ A. E. Housman
I drink to forget I drink. ~ Joe E. Lewis
I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day. ~ Dean Martin
Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker. ~ Ogden Nash
I only drink to make other people seem more interesting. ~ George Jean Nathan
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. ~ Irish Proverb
There are more old drunkards than old physicians. ~ Francois Rabelais (Gargantua)
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. ~ Bernard Shaw

Against :
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ~ Lady Nancy Astor

This is the great fault of wine; it first trips up the feet: it is a cunning wrestler. ~ Titus Maccius Plautus
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into. ~ Thomas Fuller

Caution :
Never accept a drink from a Urologist. ~ Erma Bombeck

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. ~ Joe E. Lewis
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ~ Dean Martin
A hangover is something to fill a head that was empty the night before. ~ Anon

Comments :
Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk. ~ Sir Richard Burton
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living. ~ Jean Kerr
I'm not so think as you drunk I am. ~ John Squire
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. ~ Mark Twain
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. ~ William Butler Yeats
You can't be a Real Country unless you have a Beer and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a Beer. ~ Frank Zappa
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. - George Burns
After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression. ~ Dave Barry (Dave Barry hits below the beltaway)

6 Comments:

Anonymous southerngirl said...

and you succeeded!

i've heard some of these before, but some i hadn't. :)

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 1:52:00 PM  
Blogger Tramp said...

They all bear repeating!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 6:15:00 PM  
Anonymous southerngirl said...

oh, i think you'd have given him a run for his money. ;)

and i like this one, too:

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

*snork*

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 6:42:00 PM  
Anonymous southerngirl said...

please ignore or, better yet, delete this comment.

i'm on the wrong thread!

*sigh*

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 6:43:00 PM  
Blogger Tramp said...

I know what you mean. The thread doesn't matter as long as you're on the right site!

It's like being in the right house but the wrong room.

Then again, you don't want to pee in someone's kitchen.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 1:26:00 AM  
Anonymous southerngirl said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 11:27:00 AM  

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