Real Product Warning Labels

Yes they are!

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how???.......)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- Serving suggestion: Defrost. (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- Do not turn upside down. (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- Product will be hot after heating. (...and you thought????....)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- Do not iron clothes on body. (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- Warning: May cause drowsiness.. (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- For indoor or outdoor use only. (as opposed to.....what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- Not to be used for the other use. (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- Warning: contains nuts.(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)