Funnies

From Trev.

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A man decides to take some of his savings and buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope and starts laughing.
"What's so funny," asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked women running around the house," the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house.
Then he hands some bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot."
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This guy goes to see his doctor feeling a bit unwell. The doctor checks him over and eventually finds a couple of bags of money up his butt. He pulls them out and can't resist counting up the value of the coins.
"Well," says the doctor, "I've found $1999.99 up your butt."
"Hmmm," replies the patient, "That would explain why I've not been feeling too grand."