Gotta Warn Ya...

From Corrine.

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Tom had been in the boot-leg liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his makin' and runnin' moonshine and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible. He sees only the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a party Friday night . . . thought you might like to come. About 5:00 P.M."

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you . . there's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops.

"More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Well, I get along with people. I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too," Lars said.

"Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

"Whatever you want . . . just gonna be the two of us."