Final Destination 4 - The Bistro

The waiter over at WaiterRant has come up with ideas for a fourth installment for the movie series 'Final Destination'. I found them very amusing. I hope you do too. I enjoy this guy's writing, he is very good at it.

Final Destination 4 - The Bistro
“The grill man slipped on a tomato and back flipped into the deep fryer? I told you guys to sweep up! Now we have to change the oil!”
A customer’s surfing the internet on his Dell laptop when the battery explodes igniting his brandy and flambéing him tableside. Dammit. I told Fluvio to turn off the Wi-Fi. It’s nothing but trouble. Better turn up the fans.
“You can’t breathe? You want me to call 911? You’re allergic to pine nuts? So sorry……….”
An exotic bug from South America hitches a ride on a produce crate, ends up as a salad garnish, and bites a patron. The customer dies a week later from explosive flatulence. Oops.
“Officer, I was making cherries jubilee when it all went horribly wrong.”
“The waiter’s sleeve got caught in the industrial meat grinder? Better put an ad in the help wanted section.”
“If you order the Steak Tartare you have to sign a waiver. Listeria? Salmonella? Never!”
“You locked Felipe in the walk-in freezer? Better thaw him out before the health inspector shows up.”
A stray champagne cork goes down a loudmouth patron’s gullet and chokes them. Good shot!Employees must wash hands before returning to work? “Mrs. Wilson died of typhus? In this day an age? Jeeeezz………I don’t know how that happened.”
“The unrefrigerated butter somehow cultured a particularly nasty strain of flesh eating bacteria? Poor Mr. Jones. He came here to get something to eat - but something ended up eating him. Is that irony?”
“Your honor, the chef’s knife throwing demonstration didn’t work out as planned.”
“Waiter, there’s a tsetse fly in my soup.”
“I told Fluvio to fix that ceiling fan! Tell the hostess we’ll have a free table as soon as the bus person cleans this up. Now where did that guy’s head go?”
“I don’t know what happened! I just gave the man his check! Call 911!”
“But sir, it’s only a wafer thin mint.”


UPDATE: The waiter at WaiterRant has gotten himself a book deal. No one is more deserving. This fellow is an excellent and interesting writer and I feel happy for him and wish him the best of luck.