A Flurry Of Chubby Fists

Fat girls steal milk. This is a true story. Police are warning citizens with Twinkies and Ho-Ho's to remain in their homes.

I've never been more proud of Ohio.

Thanks to Sweet for picking up on this one.


Five Fat Girls Sought
Cops report "flurry of chubby fists" in Toledo milk heist
AUGUST 9--Robbery is never funny. Except when it's described by Toledo police officers with a peculiar sense of humor. Early this morning, Scott Gibson, 44, was returning from the grocery store with a gallon of milk when, as he told cops, he was surrounded by "5 fat black girls" in the parking lot of a Kentucky Fried Chicken. As described by officers Patrick Sutherland and Kristi Eycke in the below Toledo Police Department incident report, one of the "hefty felons" asked Gibson to surrender his milk. Believing that he was being pranked, Gibson just laughed at the request. But, as cops reported, he realized it was no joke when the "rotund robbers" began "pelting him with a flurry of chubby fists."

Full story here.