Joe's Proper Introduction

Joe has been making regular appearances here. I thought about moving, but he'd probably find us. So I might as well introduce him.

This is Joe. He looks good in a monkey suit because he is a monkey!

No, no. I'm going to be nice.

This is one of my very best friends, Joe. You will never meet a better man than Joe. He is an honest and hard working man. He takes pride in everything he does. People stop by his house and notice something new around. They ask his wife, "Did Joe do that?"
She will say, "Yeah, how can you tell?"
And they always respond with, "Because it is NICE!"

Joe is Italian and he is naturally proud. You can't argue with that. But there is another thing about Italians. Real men cook. Italian men cook great! Joe is one fine chef. One of his specialties is home fries. He told me one time, "You gotta try my home fries".
I said, "I don't like home fries.
He said, "You'll like mine".
I tell him again I don't like them.
You know what he says.

So I'm over there one Sunday morning, which is when he makes them.
You know what he says.
Fine, I'll try the damn home fries.
I tried some and told Joe that they weren't too bad. They were the best thing I ever ate in my life! I don't know what it was. There were home fries in there, you could see them, but it was NOT home fries.

I started inventing excuses to be there on Sunday morning.
"Hi Joe, I just thought I'd run your newspaper in for you", I'd say.
"But you live fifteen miles from here", he'd respond.
"Yeah, I'm just a nice guy that way. Got any home fries?", I'd ask.

Joe is a good friend, always honest, always ready to lend a hand and always a real man. If you cross him, he will walk away. He won't try to get you back, won't lower himself to your level. But never ask him for anything again, he'll never forget. You can ask him to hold a wad of cash uncounted for you When you get it back, it will all be there. He would willingly give you the shirt off his back with his last dollar in the pocket. That is the kind of man Joe is.

And I'm proud to call him friend. Thanks, Joe, for being my friend.