Reader Mail?

I received a nice letter from a fellow named Frank. I'd never met him before, or even heard of him.

So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and read his letter.

Here it is along with my thoughts as I read it.

********************

From: Franklin P. Momoh (rhymes with yo-yo)
Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire
West Africa.

Hello Dear,

Listen frank. Don’t call me ‘dear’. I ain’t like all that, remember it, okay? Yeah great, thanks.

I ascertained your contact just in my search for a foreign investor/partner who would probably assist me in my future business/investment programme.

Umm… uuummmm… What?

l am Franklin P. Momoh (rhymes with Bozo) the first son of the two surviving sons of General Sado Amado Momoh (rhymes with Joe Blow) the assassinated former Minister of Mines and Natural resources in Sierra-Leone.

You need a beer Frank.

Presently, I and my younger brother are taking refuge here in ABIDJAN, COTE D' IVOIRE.

Hope they have beer Frank.

Invariably, my father was assassinated in a cold blood attack by the rebels, its really unfortunate.

A cold blood attack? What is that? Do they throw cold blood at him? Then his ’cause of death’ would be hypothermia, or what? That is unfortunate.

By Provident he brought to my awareness before his death, a deposit sum of 30 MILLION U.S DOLLAR in cash in a reputable Security/Finance institution for safe keeping.

Thirty million?

But was declared as precious family ART CRAFT.

Thirty million dollars?

Until now, only my brother and me know the real contents.

U.S. dollars? Can I see it?

Actually, we are seeking your assistance and help because…

Blah! Blah! Blah! Can I see the thirty million dollars?

To this effect, may I request to make you the BENEFICIARY…

Yeah, yeah. SHOW ME THE MONEY !!!

If you can be of an assistance to us we will be pleased to offer to you 20% Of the total fund...

That's only six million. What happened to thirty million?

while the balance will be invested by you…

I don’t think you have thirty million. I don’t think you have thirty cents!

And l will brief you more if you indicate your interest to assist us in this project.
Yours faithfully, Franklin P. Momoh (rhymes with Homo).

Oh yeah, I’m writing back to this guy right now!
Here’s what I told him.
Keep in mind that I’m trying to match his dialect.

Happiness welcoming!
Please to send money quickly.
Greetings to your goodbye!

Also.
As courtesy,
I welcome you many times to
go and have sex with yourself.