For A Few Dollars More

I had a talk today with a company that provides dial up internet service. An ISP, as they call themselves. I saw an ad for them online that stated, “Surf five times as fast for only five dollars more”.

Isn’t technology wonderful?

So I called them. Here is our conversation.

Me: Hi. I’m calling about the ad where I can surf five times as fast for five bucks more.
Them: That’s right. We can increase your connection speed by up to five times!
M: Wow! That’s amazing! What do I have to buy?
T: All you have to do is sign up for our Hi-Speed plan and you can go up to five times faster on the internet.
M: Wow! I could use that! What do I need?
T: Just our Hi-Speed plan.
M: I understand that. I mean what do I have to get for my computer?
T: Nothing. Your computer doesn’t need anything. It will work just as it is.
M: Really? Nothing? Then I must have to change my phone line to something else?
T: No, you’re phone line will work just as it is. There really is nothing else you need.
M: REALLY! Then why doesn’t it do that now?
T: Well, that would be because you haven’t signed up for the plan.
M: REALLY! So it could be that fast right now.
T: Yes sir. Right now.
M: Then why isn’t it? You mean you’re slowing me down on purpose right now?
T: Well, no…
M: If I don’t need to change anything and all you have to do is push a button or…
T: We don’t push a button. We load special software on your computer.
M: On my computer?
T: Yes.
M: So how does that cost you more money?
T: I don’t follo…
M: You are putting the software on my computer. That means you are using MY resources. That shouldn’t cost YOU any more money.
T:
M: As a matter of fact, since you are using MY resources to make this work, shouldn’t YOU be paying ME?
T:
M: Yeah, I thought so. Have a nice evening.
T: