Saturday, March 17, 2007

Instant Irish Accent

Here is a fellow who is selling a mouth spray purported to give you an instant Irish accent.
In his ad he has what is supposed to be a transcript of his court hearing for selling a fake product.

And it's a good read.



Docket #23VB55-W99622b
The State of New York vs

ATTORNEY: Can you state your name and title for the court, please.
MR. STUPID: Gary Apple. I'm the President --- Not of the United States. Just
ATTORNEY: And you also go under the name... Mr. Stupid?
MR. STUPID: Uh, huh.
ATTORNEY: So tell the court... Mr. Stupid... Just when did you begin selling Instant Irish Accent Mouth Spray?
MR. STUPID: In February of 2005.
ATTORNEY: Were you aware at the time that the product did not actually work?
MR. STUPID: It didn't?
ATTORNEY: You mean you didn't even TRY a product you're selling?
MR. STUPID: Someone sells Electric Chairs. Do you think they try them?
ATTORNEY: Judge, please note that Mr. Stupid is a hostile witness.
MR. STUPID: Say that again and I'll kill you!
ATTORNEY: Since you didn't try the Instant Irish Accent spray, what made you think it would work?
MR. STUPID: It says so on the label.
ATTORNEY: Do you believe everything you read?
MR. STUPID: Not everything. For instance, I read your resume.
ATTORNEY: Perhaps you'd like to try some of your Irish Accent spray to see the kind of misleading products you sell.
MR. STUPID: Okay, I'll try it... Mmmmm, it's very tasty.
ATTORNEY: Taste is not the issue here. You claim that...
MR. STUPID: Faith and Begorrah! May the shamrocks always shine on your shaleleigh!
ATTORNEY: Judge, I object! The defendant is clearly faking it!
MR. STUPID: As sure as yer wife did last night, laddy! Pour me a Guinness and call me Seamus!
ATTORNEY: Your honor, Mr. Stupid is pretending to be a dumb drunk Irishman.
JUDGE O'GRADY: Begorrah, you say? A dumb drunk Irishman, is it now? Case dismissed! Come with me, Mr. Stupid, and I'll buy ya' a pint at the pub.


Blogger Peg-Leg said...

I don't need that to talk funny

Sunday, March 18, 2007 3:30:00 AM  
Blogger Tramp said...

Yeah, but then you have an excuse for not stopping!

Sunday, March 18, 2007 11:46:00 AM  

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