Here I Am

I'm back.

Let me tell you what happened to me.

I was leaving for work yesterday and my shiny new GMC turd-mobile wouldn't start. Why not. Everything else on it doesn't work, why should the engine be any different? I turned the key and it just clicks. You know the sound, like when your battery is dead. Only this thing has not one, but two massive brand new batteries. So why did it do that? Because it's a turd.

A little history on this thing. It's a top of the line GMC Sierra pickup, One Ton, biggest damn motor they ever made, the five speed Allison fancy tranny, four wheel drive (of course), all the bells and whistles. Plus it's a four door extended cab with a long bed. That means you can literally park it nowhere. If I park it a Wal-Mart, that lane will be shut down. That's how long this thing is.

Why did I buy it? Two reasons. It's the only truck made that will haul four thousand pounds of equipment in the bed without squatting down or slowing to a crawl. And it's about the only truck that can pull my ten thousand pound boat.

One day, I stopped at Mickey D's drive-thru to get a coffee. I hit the window button and the window went down fast. Much faster than it usually does. Didn't come back up either. So I took it to my shop and told a couple of guys who know trucks to tear it apart and see what's wrong. Turns out it was simple, the string broke. That's right, this truck which cost more than some houses has a window operated by a string! A string that broke!

I was thinking maybe they should have used a cable, but then I remembered the other cables on this truck. The cables that hold the tailgate? They broke. The cable that holds the spare tire underneath? Yep, broke. The parking brake cable? Do I have to say it? Broke.

The high end Bose stereo in this thing doesn't sound that great either. It might have something to do with the fact that both front speakers fell down inside the doors on the second day I owned the truck.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

So that left me with my Harley. I rode it to work yesterday. Weather dude said it wouldn't rain til after midnight. Liar. It rained. It rained hard. Really hard. Noah was building another ark.

So I figured I'd wait til the rain ended.

It just ended.

And that's where I've been.