Sometimes I’m Not So Nice

I hate banks. Remember when they used to pay us to hold our money? Now we pay them to hold our money. How the hell did that happen?

I had an exceptionally bad experience with a bank recently. In my opinion the bank employees were uninformed and very rude. Each teller would give me a different answer for the same question. One teller even gave me two different answers to the same question on the same day, a mere two hours apart. And then they played it as if I didn't know what I was talking about. Sorry honey, I've got a great memory. I still remember the telephone number of a house I moved out of when I was 5! I think I remember what you said a few minutes ago.

I didn’t get upset. In my thinking, there are many banks out there and I have no great love for this one. I’ll close the account and go somewhere else. This is where the fun really starts. Have you ever tried to close a bank account? They do not make it an easy task. But I consider myself to be a formidable opponent, bring it on is what I say.
I go to the bank and approach the teller with all the answers.
I tell her, “I want my money and I want to close my account.”
She asks, “Why do you want to do that?”
I feel that this is the wrong response, as I did not ask her to ask me a question. I had asked her for something completely different. So here we go.
Me: “I could say it again. Or perhaps, if it is going to take some time for you to comprehend my words, I could write them down. Then you could study them for as long as necessary and maybe respond correctly. Shall I do that?”
She walks away and returns with a manager.
He says, “Is there a problem?”
I say, “Yes there is. Your teller cannot seems to comprehend the English language. I am trying to keep the words small, but I‘m not having any success. Do you speak English?”
Him: “Yes, I do.”
Me: “Let’s find out, shall we? I want my money and I want to close my account.”
Him: “Can I ask you why?”
Me: “See, there is the problem again. What I am saying is ‘I want my money and I want to close my account’. What are you hearing? Maybe we can find the problem.”
Him: “She will get it for you.”
Me: “Good. Bye bye.”
He stands there.
Me: “Let me explain for you. I say bye bye. Then you say bye bye. Then you leave. Let’s try it again. Bye bye.”
He leaves, and finally, slowly, what I originally asked for begins to develop. Why does it have to be so hard?