The Wit And The Wisdom

Who said these?

It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Maybe just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene".

If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.

I want to share something with you. The three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, "cover for me". Number two, "oh, good idea boss". Number three, "it was like that when I got here".

And finally, if you haven't figured it out, "DOH!"



That's right. Homer Simpson.