Cat Like Reflexes

Well, tonight I found out that I still have cat like reflexes. And that is the only reason I am writing this. Otherwise I would not be here right now. I am also now the proud owner of the world's only Buick LeSabre convertible.

I used to race motorcycles. That is good for reflex development. I also studied martial arts, which is another plus in the reflex department. Let me tell you about my night.

I was coming home from the store in my Buick LeSabre. I was traveling down a rural road at 55 MPH when I noticed something in the road ahead. Couldn't quite make it out until too late. It was a semi trailer across the road with no lights on. By the time I realized it I could not stop. Couldn't get around it either as there were walls in the way. So I stood on the brakes hard. I saw I was not even going to come close to stopping. And that's where my reflexes saved me. I threw myself across the seat just as the windshield was exploding. It ripped the roof off inches above my head. The car was jammed under the semi trailer with the steering wheel inches from the bottom of the trailer. I was laying across the seat, bewildered. I heard voices outside saying "Is he dead?" and other things like that. I found my way out of the car through the back door. People were telling me an ambulance was on the way and I was asking who was hurt. They said I should be. I begged to differ. The State Policemen that arrived told me they had never seen anyone survive such an accident. They said I had had about a tenth of a second to make the decision to duck and to do it. They were bewildered. I told them to join the club.

The policemen had a hard time believing I was the driver. I was pretty shook up, still am a little (as I shake my head right now, glass falls out of my hair). And then the police said they were going to call a wrecker to pull the car out from under the truck. I told them I thought I could drive it out. He laughed and apparently didn't believe me until I crawled back in and drove it out. Couldn't see where I was going though. I believe it is the first time in recorded history that a man in a car asked for directions.

Well, in case I didn't mention it, I am fine. Not a scratch. The car didn't do as well. Thank the higher beings that I didn't take my pick-up truck, I never would have gotten low enough. And then, in a most amazing display of arrogance, the truck driver asked me if I would sign a form exonerating him of any liability.

I can't believe I didn't punch him.