A Recipe For The New Year

From master chef Corrine.

Take twelve whole months.

Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.

Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.

Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or thirty-one different parts, but don't make up the whole batch at once.

Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.

Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work.

Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.

Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation, and one good deed.

Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cup full of good humor.

Pour all of this into a vessel of love.

Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness and cheerfulness.

May God Bless You in 2007!

From Corrine.

2006 has sped by

Now, we need to face 2007

There may be risks involved

We may need to face roadblocks

So stay alert

Share time with friends

Jump over obstacles

With care

And caution

Face challenges

Remember to laugh

Cooperate

Discover

Make new friends

Above all...be ready for adventure

Stick together

And you will be able to go far

Very far....

Well, not quite that far....

Always take time to smell the flowers

Don't forget to relax and enjoy

And never forget to love those dearest to you

May God Bless You in 2007!

Understanding

Here is a card I received from Corrine today.
Corrine is a little bit different.
A little odd.
A little strange.
Just like me.

That's why we get along so well!

Sometimes, When I feel like
nobody understands me,
it helps to think of YOU!
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Nobody Understands You EITHER!!

Tips for 2007

From Corrine.


If you have any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2007.

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R.Grace Co. will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
Zip Audi DoDa.
5.) FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
Poupon Pants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally
9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
Titty Titty Bang Bang

New Year's Resolutions

Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.

Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don't want to be the only one with a resolution posted!

I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:

And I am starting now.......
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom......you got it....like that's gonna happen....I wonder if Geno would use this????

Man. I hope there's not a photo.
Crap, there's a photo. -Tramp
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As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is....................

When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn't the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare???????

A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers......

Happy New Year......give me something to laugh at....what's you resolution?

Sweet
xoxoxoxo

Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I'll track down whoever put Rosie's mug on TV. Then I'll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp

I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie

I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp

In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie

I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!

So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp

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Who You Callin' Bitch, Bitch?

Corrine's got some 'splainin' to do.
Listen up, bitch!

A simple bitch is someone you met through somebody else.
*A real bitch is someone you knew from back in the day and we still kickin it now!

A simple bitch will take you where you need to go.
*A real bitch throws you her keys and says it needs gas in it!

A simple bitch will tell you not to fight, it aint worth it.
*A real bitch will say beat her ass and look at the crowd and say bet nobody jump in.

A simple bitch will let another bitch know she can back the fBAD WORDk up or get knock the fBAD WORDk out.
*A real bitch will just knock her the fBAD WORDk out!!!

A simple bitch tells you she's had enough to drink.
*A real bitch tells you we need another shot, we bout to get fBAD WORDked up!

A simple bitch goes to the club with you and sits down.
*A real bitch goes to the club with you and says lets show these simple bitches how we do it.

A simple bitch hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
*A real bitch pops up at your house, talkin bout I know you ain't in the bed, on a clubnight!

A simple bitch seeks to talk with you about your problems.
*A real bitch seeks to take care of your all your problems, rather it be a gun, a knife, whatever will take a fBAD WORDka out.

A simple bitch wonders who your new man is.
*A real bitch knows that mutha fBAD WORDka's first name, last name, birthday, where he lives, who he related to, what kinda car he drives, where he works, how many babies mama's he has, and how many bitches trying to holla at him right now!

A simple bitch thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
*A real bitch lets you know that was fBAD WORDked up but we still girls.

A simple bitch expects you to always be there for them.
*A real bitch knows you will always be there for them; they don't have to expect shit.

A simple bitch reads this and realizes that she is a simple bitch and then forgets it.
*A real bitch passes this to her real bitches without thinking about it.

War Of The Words

From Sweet. Given the choice, I'd pick neither one. Rosie is an opinionated moron and The Donald is a blowhard. If you pinned me down, I'd take the blowhard. The moron scares me. Not in a frightened way, but in a worried way.

And with all the firing Donald has been doing, when is he gonna fire his toupee? Or at least get one that's the right color.

Here's Sweet.
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As usual where there is a brawl you will find Sweet. Personally this story is amusing to me...I have to say…. For most people its…either Donald or Rosie…no one could like them both…So we have the war of the words…see their comment to each other…then answer one question…. Who would you want to be in a room with for 8 hours? Rosie said…who is Donald – with his affairs and numerous wives – to become the morals police? He is a deadbeat businessman, who has falsely earned a business reputation. Indeed, she said he had been bankrupt and claimed that only the money he got after his father's death bailed him out. "Sit and Spin, Donald!" she hooted. Donald upped the nastiness factor; he called O'Donnell fat with a lazy mind. He said she had failed at her own talk show and magazine. He called her comments about his business background false statements, and said he would probably take her to court. He told one media outlet he was looking forward to taking money from "my fat little Rosie." "Rosie O'Donnell is disgusting, both inside and out," he said. "You take a look at her, she's a slob. She talks like a truck driver." I will take 8 hours with the Donald any day…he is worth millions…I might learn something…. I could get a job…the list goes on and on…Rosie needs shut-up! For those of you who pick Rosie… you are so "fired!”

As always
Sweet
xoxoxoxo

Websites

Hip Hop Grams Lets you send... you know.

Product Red Buy red things.

Death Forecast See how long you will live.

The Happy Slob Cleaning tips from... you know.

And yes, this really does exist. Don't waste your time there though, it's a porn site.

Shit.com

The Official Guide

As it is written, on whatever is it that they write it on.
Apologies to Frank Zappa.

Guide to Buying Gifts For Men:

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8 inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big screen TV and watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. With-in a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely every-where. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #7: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
Rule #8: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Clamps. Men can never have enough quick grip clamps. No one knows why.
Rule #10: Buy your man Duct Tape. This is a man's most universal repair tool. All men know, if you can't fix it, duct it.

You Want Fries With That?

$110 hamburger lands on Jakarta hotel menu

JAKARTA, Indonesia (Reuters) -- A hotel in Indonesia is dishing out a hamburger that costs more than twice the monthly minimum wage in some parts of the country.
The $110 hamburger offered by the Four Seasons is made of Kobe beef with foie gras, Portobello mushrooms and Korean pears -- served with french fries, of course.
They're not exactly selling like hot cakes yet, but the hotel says it has sold 20 of the 1 million rupiah ($110.10) hamburgers since they were launched this month.
"One burger has 225 grams of Kobe beef. It is so expensive because the flavor is really different," said Erwan Ruswandi, the chief of the restaurant offering the gourmet burger.
"The calves in Kobe get special treatment ... they drink beer mixed with milk, vitamins and eat pesticide-free grass. We add foie gras and also some Korean pears. We import all the materials, and they are high quality, so it is so expensive."
The minimum wage in most parts the country of 220 million is as low as around $40 a month.
A tiny number of Indonesians are among the richest people in Asia, while millions live in dire poverty in urban slums or shanty towns in the countryside.

Saddam Is Dead

Yes, he deserved it. But you don't always deserve what you get.

These three things I'm sure of.

Saddam wronged Iraq.

Iraq was right in doing this justice.

And somehow we will have to pay for it.

Fashion

Okay, I know you are all wondering how a guy who lives in blue jeans ans t-shirts feels qualified to do a fashion piece.

Well, I'm not.

Here, let me show you.
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This is high fashion in beachwear.
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I don't know what this is, but I think it's funny to see a guy with his dick in a sling.
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Here are some guys who couldn't figure out where the socks go.

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This is just wrong. Don't do this.

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Don't do this either. Please.

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They say all brides are beautiful. Allow me to disprove that.

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The eyes have it!

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Here is the proper way to dress for a woman trying to get ahead at the office.

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And here is how to get fired.

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A Tragedy

Corrine has the definition of it.
Right here. Right now.
See if you agree.

Jesse Jackson, while visiting a primary school class, found himself in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks the Reverend Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader."That's what we would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverend Jackson were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson , "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.

Deep Thoughts

Corrine gives us something to think about.

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job. His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed: "Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot. I don't know how. It is not fair Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray that you teach me to do this one thing I cannot do -

Teach me To Forgive."

As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt. He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them. He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face.

As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.
"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked?
The man answered - "yes, Lord."
"Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?"
The man answered - " yes. Lord."
And the man sobbed more and more.
"Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked?
And the man answered - "yes, Lord."
"Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain? "
The man, crying now, answered - "yes, Lord."
As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "yes, Lord." Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.
Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."

It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is.
Read the following first line slowly and let it sink in.
If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.
When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you!

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Rhinaris

Nix

Beautiful Blonde Pole Dancer

This well done piece comes from SouthernGirl.





If you should find this too offensive, please advise, and I will promptly refrain from these type of posts!

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(Open Discreetly) Please scroll on Down.......
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Dogs, Diets And Sweet

Here she to tell you about it.

Jokes only a dog lover could enjoy!

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
Duh!
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no . . . . .
I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door

Little Angel {A Classic}

From Irene, a great one!

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw from which it was made.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.
He opened the door and there was a Little Angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition . . .
of the Little Angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Now This From Corrine

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu.
"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.
"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time", Pedro begged.
"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.
"Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
and a Happy New Year."

GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!

Top Ten Movies Of 2006

I wanted to do a top ten movie list. So I checked with the critics from all over the nation. None of their lists resemble any of the other critic's lists. I've never seen so much variation before.

So who do I go with?
All of them.

I put all the lists together and counted votes for each movie. This list is no one person's choices. It is a compilation of all the critics choices, and the movies are listed alphabetically. These movies appeared on more lists than any of the other movies.
And I think it is pretty close to the truth.


Borat
Children Of Men
The Departed
Half Nelson
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
Pen’s Labyrinth
The Queen
United 93
Volver

The Worst Sounding Foods Of 2006

These are tough to top, but I am open to suggestions.

Blood Pudding
Head Cheese
Haggis (random organ meats in a sheep's stomach)
Shit On A Shingle
Horse Cock Sandwich
Poo-Poo Platter
Pasties
Wieners
Spotted Dick
Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam
Wup Ass (an actual food in Jamaica)
Spinach (nuff said)
Sweet Meats
Welsh Rarebit (eggs, cheese, and beer on toast)
Potted Meat

A Reminder From Sweet

For those of you who may be considering overeating during this holiday season,
Sweet has this reminder for you.
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Taxes

I hate to bring this up, but there are folks who will file their taxes in January.
No, I don't know why.

New Tax Law Changes for 2006 That May Affect Your Taxes.
Credit for long distance federal excise tax paid: If you paid the federal excise tax on your long distance or bundled telephone service between 2/28/03 and 8/1/06, you may be able to claim a credit for either the actual amount of tax paid or a standard amount.
Split refunds: If you choose direct deposit of your refund, you may be able to split the refund into two or three accounts.
Residential energy credits: You may be able to take two new residential energy credits if you made energy saving improvements to your home in 2006.
Standard mileage rates: The standard mileage rate for the cost of operating your car is 44.5 cents a mile for all business miles driven in 2006 and 18 cents for medical reasons and determining moving expenses.
Clothing and household items: If you donate clothing and household items to a qualified organization, the items must be in good used condition or better for you to claim a charitable contribution deduction.
Child under 18: The age at which a child's investment income may be reported on the parent's return has been increased from age 14 to age 18.
Earned Income Credit (EIC): The maximum amount of income you can earn and still get EIC increased. The amount depends on your filing status and number of children. The maximum amount of investment income you can have and still be eligible for the credit has increased to $2,800.
Traditional IRA income limits: You may be able to take an IRA deduction if you were covered by a retirement plan, your AGI is less than $85,000, and you are married filing jointly or a qualifying widow(er).


Tax Law Changes : Tax-Year 2006 Individuals
Pick a topic from the list below to learn about the tax changes:
Child Under 18
Limit on Itemized Deduction
Clothing and Household Items
Traditional IRA Income Limits
Alternative Minimum TaxStandard Mileage Rate
Adoption Credit
Qualified Electric Vehicle Credit
Alternative Fuel Vehicle Refueling
Credit for Federal Telephone Excise Tax Paid
Residential Energy CreditsStandard Mileage Rates
Charitable contributions
Earned Income Credit
Electric and alternative motor vehicles
Exemption amounts
Social security and Medicare taxes
Split refund option
Standard deduction
Standard mileage rates
Tax-exempt interest reporting

SOURCE: Tax Act Website
Visit them to do your taxes and e-file them for free.

Now Was That A Good Idea?

You steal from the mob and they...

sue you???

I remember a day when stealing half a mil from a guy called Mike the Butcher got you a different kind of suit.

Alleged mobsters claim they were conned
NEW YORK (UPI) -- Lawyers for a group of alleged mobsters claim their clients were hoodwinked by a New York housewife they accuse of swindling $500,000. The lawyers claim in court papers that Yvonne Rossetti fooled three alleged members of the Bonanno crime family into investing the money in a phony real estate scheme, the New York Post reported Monday. Michael "Mike the Butcher" Virtuoso, Michael Cassese and Agostino Accardo were indicted on loan sharking charges last month after Rossetti's husband, Vincent, wore a wire to a meeting with the men and turned them over to federal authorities. "She's a con artist," said Joseph Benfante, who represents Virtuoso. "The real danger to the community is Yvonne Rossetti." Steve Zissou, a lawyer for Cassese, said federal prosecutors "got it wrong." "They got sold a bill of goods by the Rossetti characters," Zissou said.

Weird, Weird News

This one I do not understand. I saw this movie two years ago and I'm still waiting for the funny part. Maybe it's just me, but I saw nothing amusing in this movie and I can't believe this would be funny at an office party either.
On a side note, I still haven't been able to confirm whether Billy Bob does indeed have two brothers named Darryl.

'Bad' Santa a big hit at office parties
NEW YORK (UPI) -- Some New York Christmas office parties this year were livened up by a disreputable Santa who boozed it up and offended guests with off-color jokes. The New York Post reported Monday "Dial-A-Santa" Glenn Chocky was overwhelmed with appearance requests to make his uncouth and tasteless performance at Manhattan holiday parties in the style of the Billy Bob Thornton character from the 2004 comedy, "Bad Santa." Chocky, who says its all in good fun, often adds to the Yule un-tidiness by excusing himself to visit the restroom and telling his audience he had just lost his lunch "My No. 1 goal is to make everyone at the party smile," Chocky said.

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"I'm Tired"

Carrie, who is currently in the U.P. destroying young men's dreams with the news that she is married, has this letter from an American Hero.


Two weeks ago, as I was starting my sixth month of duty in Iraq, I was forced to return to the USA for surgery for an injury I sustained prior to my deployment. With luck, I'll return to Iraq to finish my tour.
I left Baghdad and a war that has every indication that we are winning, to return to a demoralized country much like the one I returned to in 1971 after my tour in Vietnam. Maybe it's because I'll turn 60 years old in just four months, but I'm tired:
I'm tired of spineless politicians, both Democrat and Republican who lack the courage, fortitude, and character to see these difficult tasks through.
I'm tired of the hypocrisy of politicians who want to rewrite history when the going gets tough.
I'm tired of the disingenuous clamor from those that claim they 'Support the Troops' by wanting them to 'Cut and Run' before victory is achieved.
I'm tired of a mainstream media that can only focus on car bombs and casualty reports because they are too afraid to leave the safety of their hotels to report on the courage and success our brave men and women are having on the battlefield.
I'm tired that so many Americans think you can rebuild a dictatorship into a democracy over night.
I'm tired that so many ignore the bravery of the Iraqi people to go to the voting booth and freely elect a Constitution and soon a permanent Parliament.
I'm tired of the so called 'Elite Left' that prolongs this war by giving aid and comfort to our enemy, just as they did during the Vietnam War.
I'm tired of antiwar protesters showing up at the funerals of our fallen soldiers. A family who's loved ones gave their life in a just and noble cause, only to be cruelly tormented on the funeral day by cowardly protesters is beyond shameful.
I'm tired that my generation, the Baby Boom - Vietnam generation, who have such a weak backbone that they can't stomach seeing the difficult tasks through to victory.
I'm tired that some are more concerned about the treatment of captives than they are the slaughter and beheading of our citizens and allies.
I'm tired that when we find mass graves it is seldom reported by the press, but mistreat a prisoner and it is front page news.
Mostly, I'm tired that the people of this great nation didn't learn from history that there is no substitute for Victory.

Sincerely,

Joe Repya,
Lieutenant Colonel,
U. S. Army,
101st Airborne Division

THE CAB RIDE

Corrine calls this 'The Cab Ride'.

But I call it, 'WHAT IF?'

Corrine doesn't know it yet, but this was her Christmas present to me.

My stepmother passed away last year on Christmas Eve, and this is what happened to her.
I give a heartfelt thank you to the Yellow Cab company of Southwest Florida.
You guys are the best.



Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knick knacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated". "Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?" "It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly."Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice". I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now"

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said
"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.

Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people. But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.
Thank you, my friend...
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here ...
we might as well dance.

Corrine Has Had Enough

And now she has her own Christmas poem.

I don't know who they are
Saying I can't greet the crowd
The way that I want to
Can't say CHRISTMAS out loud.

I walk into a business place
See things that I rather not see
But dare I not say CHRISTMAS
And ask for a "holiday" tree.

What happened to freedom of speech
And living in the land of the free
How can they take my CHRISTMAS money
But can't say MERRY CHRISTMAS to me.

Men and women have given their lives
So we could still go free
I wonder how they would feel
At saying "HOLIDAY" TREE.

Come on ALL let's wake up
Don't let freedom escape
If they get by with doing this
What else will they take.

This is starting to get out of hand,
And I've begun to keep track
Well I've just about had enough
I'M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK.

So MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL
I hope this gets all over the net
If we all stand united and take freedom back
'Twill be our best CHRISTMAS YET!

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Best And Worst Of 2006 Lists

It's that time of year when people start putting out lists of the best and worst things of the previous year.

I'll start with this one.

THE WORST CHILDREN'S BOOKS FOR 2006

*You Were An Accident
*Santa Clause, Easter Bunny And Other Lies
*Pop Goes The Hamster (And Other Great Microwave Games)
*Strangers Have The Best Candy
*Dad's New Wife Robert
*Games Mommy And Daddy Play When You Aren't Around
*Bi-Curious George
*There's A Man Inside Barney
*Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
*Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
*Places Where Mommy And Daddy Hide Neat Things
*You Are Different And That's Bad
*How to Blackmail Older Siblings For Fun And Profit.
*Good Reasons To Fear The Dark
*The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
*Tasty Things Found Under The Sink
*What Jack And Jill Really Did Up The Hill
*Pooh Goes Postal
*Matches, Gas, And Fire: A Guide For Young Pyromaniacs
*Investigating The Groans In Mommy’s Room When Daddy Isn't Around
*Your Nightmares Are Real
*Lies Your Parents Tell You So You Won’t Have Any Fun
*Harry Potter And A Pair Of Hermonie’s Panties
*Stop And Roll - A Joe Camel's Guide Book
*And That’s Why We Now Call Uncle Robert Auntie Roberta
*Why Mr. Fork And Mrs. Electrical Outlet Cannot Be Friends
*If You're Bad, The Earth Will Explode And Mommy And Daddy Will Die
*Potty Time For Dummies
*Who’s' Your Daddy?

The True Meaning Of Christmas Is A Small White Envelope

I never knew this. But Corrine set me straight.

The true meaning of Christmas is not toys or gifts. It's not about peace on earth.

And it's not about the birth of Christ. That is the origin, not the meaning.

The meaning is about a spirit inside of us. A sense of wanting to help people.
Of wanting to do good.
Of wanting to make your fellow men and women happy.
Of sacrifice for the good of mankind. And womankind.

Here is her story about the True Meaning Of Christmas.

It's just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas -- oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it -- the overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma -- the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties, and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended. Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford.

Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids -- all kids -- and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball, and lacrosse.

That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition -- one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning, and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope.

Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us. May we all remember Christ, who is the reason for the season, and the true Christmas spirit this year and always.

God Bless! -- pass this along to those friends and loved ones who you know are the givers who understand the true meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Gerald R. Ford 1913 - 2006

Former President Ford Dead At 93





In Memory of Gerald R. Ford 1913 - 2006

The 38th President of the United States ofAmerica

Rest In Peace

God bless you and your family Sir

Thank you for your dedication to our country

WARNING: Graphic Photo

Corrine has this story about the cruelty of nature.
This is a true story as the graphic photo attests.

Dog Pack Kills Alligator In Florida
At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.
The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the 'apex predator' in its natural eco-system, can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible by the tight knit social structure and 'survival of the fittest pack mentality' bred into canines over the last thousands of years by natural selection. See the remarkable photograph attached, courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while the remainder of the pack prevents the beast from rolling.

Beware! This is not for the squeamish
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Newspapers Are Too Localized

People say that newspapers are too localized. This story blows that theory out of the water.
SouthernGirl is currently travelling in the southern US. Regina Brett is an excellent reporter for a local newspaper in my area on the northern side of the US. But still, S'Girl reads and sends me this story. Localized, huh?

I don't know who Regina Brett is, but I thought this was kinda neat.
Have a very Merry Christmas!
s'girl

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first!!

Lessons in Life By Regina Brett The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

The Santa Trial Continues

Coverage from the Santa trial by SouthernGirl.
And Santa calls us perverts!
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Saddam Watch

Here is Sweet reporting from Iraq.

An Iraqi appeals court has ruled that former dictator Saddam Hussein should be executed within 30 days, Iraq's high tribunal announced today.

The nine-judge appeals panel upheld the Iraqi High Tribunal's November 5 verdict in Saddam's trial over the execution of 148 Shia villagers following a 1982 assassination attempt against Saddam in the village of Dujail.

Judge Arif Shaheen told reporters the verdict was final and legally binding, clearing the way for Saddam's procession to the gallows.

"It cannot exceed 30 days. As from tomorrow the sentence could be carried out at any time," the judge said, after confirming that the execution verdict had been upheld and that the trial process was complete.

CORRECTION: Sweet called to tell me she did not say she was reporting from IRAQ She said THE RACK, a local rib joint. I apologize for the error and assure you that it will not happen again today. Or tomorrow. The next day, who knows.

The Darwins With SouthernGirl

SouthernGirl (who has never received a Darwin herself) has coverage of the latest Darwin Awards.


Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

And now, the (Dis)Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open t e cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. (Trust me, he's NOT a 10!) When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering humankind, please share these with your friends and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

.

Editor's Note: If you are one of these people, or you have been notified that a Darwin Award is heading your way, please stop reading, go away and never come back! Thank you!

Allow Me To Be The First

Only 364 Shopping Days Until Christmas!!!

They Are Not Just Words

Peace On Earth,
Good Will Towards Men And Women

Merry Christmas To All --0 Days To Go!

And we mean all!
.
.

They really are not just words.

They should be an attitude.

And not just at this time of year.

Say it with me.

PEACE ON EARTH,

GOOD WILL TOWARDS MEN AND WOMEN

Have a Merry Christmas

and try to see that everyone else does.

This is a heartfelt message from everyone here at the Riverbank.

Merry Christmas from Sweet, Corrine, Carrie, SouthernGirl and Tramp.

.

Also...

JohnD and his wife (the artist) and son,

Jim M (anonymous) and his wife Patty and three wonderful children Casey, Ryan and Erin,

my wife Lady and our son Shylo and his fiance Liz,

Geno, Darla, Eva,

Colleen and Kenny,

Alrad Yak,

Kathy,

Joe and Penny,

Bobby and Vicky,

Ed and Tina,

Albert,

Perry H.,

Frank K.,

Mike H.,

Peter and Nola H. and family,

Ralph W,

Al and Chatie,

Tim,

Hairless,

All Riverbank readers everywhere!

...(to be continued).

Listed Posthumously In Memoriam;

Douglas Smith US Marine Veteran And A True Friend Of Mine - Semper Fi, Sir, You Won't Be Needing That Cane In Heaven Doug.

Harold "Whitey" Kuhns US Army Reserve Veteran And A True Friend Of Mine, You Won't Be Needing That Lawnmower In Heaven Whitey!

Bless you all, you truely are special people!

If you believe these words and would like to have your name added to the list, leave a comment and let me know. I will add you.

This post stays at the top thru Christmas.

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FOOTNOTE: There is no 'Holiday Tree' in my house. We are not having a 'Holiday'.

We have a Christmas tree and we are having Christmas in our home.

The ACLU can shove their' Holiday Tree' up their ass!

FOOTNOTE: A friend mentioned to me that I am saying 'Goodwill Towards Men And Women' and then telling the ACLU to shove it. I responded that the ACLU is not a man nor woman, but simply a bad idea.