Saturday, September 30, 2006

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Sweet has a recipe. And that's one hell of a way to introduce a recipe, isn't it.

I am, of course, kidding. But you might wonder...

Here is Sweet with the poop.
I mean info...
Sorry Sweet!

I will be making up a couple of these babies for the office staff on Monday. I'll teach them to to call in sick. I will give them a reason.....

Kidding aside, "Green Tomato Pie" is really good. Plus we have not had Tramp's County Kitchen Corner lately.


p.s. this is for the reader that is collecting our recipes.

Quick Green Tomato Pie Recipe

Yield: 1 - 9 inch Pie

8 Medium Green Tomatoes, Sliced
1 Apple, thinly sliced
1 Cup Sugar
¾ tsp Cinnamon
¼ tsp Ground Cloves
1 Tbsp Butter
1 tsp Minute Tapioca
1 Tbsp Lemon Juice
Pastry for a 2-crust 9 inch pie

Method: Preheat oven to 400 ° F. In a bowl, make a mixture of sugar, tapioca and spices. Arrange ½ of the Tomato and apple slices in the bottom of the unbaked crust. Sprinkle half of the mixture over the layer. Arrange the remaining tomato and apple slices as a top layer. Sprinkle the remaining mixture over this layer. Dot with butter and sprinkle with lemon juice. Place top crust on pie, seal and flute the edges. Dock the top for steam. Bake for 35 minutes or until crust is golden and juices bubble through. (Fruit has finished cooking when juices flow out docking holes. Rack cool for 90 minutes

Serve with ice cream or cheese.

Notes: In this quick recipe, tomatoes are only washed, and sliced: not peeled.
For firmer consistency, increase Tapioca to 1 Tbsp.
Covering the crust with foil for the first 30 minutes of baking can improve the crust color. Increase baking time by 15 minutes.
Egg wash on top crust will create a glossy golden appearance.

Dress For Success

If you are planning to head out on this, a fine Saturday night, remember to wear the correct ensemble, diggs, duds, threads or whatever you call them.

The proper outfit can make or break your night, as this photo plainly shows.

Don't let this happen to you!

More SNS

Some loose pics that didn't fit anywhere else but should be seen.

Enjoy these and your Saturday night. Drink responsibly, don't spill!

Corrine's SNS Continued



Corrine's Saturday Night Special

A young priest arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head abbot, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the "R" ! , we missed the "R" !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies,

"The word was...CELEBRATE!!!"

The Useless Postal Service

Sweet reports on our postal service.

Readers and Tramp,

As "Head of Information", I feel it is my responsibility to give my review of our current U.S. Mail and how its working these days. I have come to the conclusion that the mail system does very little real mail today.

For example, today I received the following:

-Two (2) explanation of benefits from health care (this is real mail).

-My Capitol One Statement (real,
although I also get this via email).

-A California General Election information booklet, 191 pages (a waste of tax payers money). Some may consider it real mail, I call it junk mail.

-Hunter Magazine, my husband considers this real mail. It goes in his office beside the toilet (hubby says it's real mail) I will give him this one since it keeps him out of my hair reading in his office unless I really have to go.

-Gameineor Magazine for a PS2, which is never played in this house (so I guess this is junk).

- My free 2006 Annual Christmas Seal Campaign, which I have never asked to be a part of, however I will use the free return address labels if I ever send real mail (sale mail).

-A notice from BoatUS asking me if I forgot to renew. No! I did not forget (sale mail).

-Also, the same day from BoatUS, I received a sales promo for Christmas cards?????? (sale mail)

-Three (3) letters asking me to re-finance my home......duh, if I wanted to would I really use someone who mailed me a letter? (sale mail).

-A local sale promo for an auto parts store telling me I am one of their 'most valuable customers'. I have never even been to this establishment (sale mail).

-Seven (7) local pizza joints coupons......duh, I don't eat your pizza (sale mail).

-Econo Lube n' Tune coupons.........again duh, this is why I am married (sale mail).

-An item notifying me that I can get $100 off affordable braces at the smile center........I already have a $40K smile (sale mail).

- A notice that Food King has a 'harvest the savings' sale......I don't even know where the "Food King" is located (sale mail).

-A flyer for The 8th Annual "Kite Fest" is from 10-5 today......gee, I needed more notice (sale mail).

-Two (2) Direct TV "Best offer of the year".........I already have Direct TV think of the money Direct TV could save if they only sent to those who were not customers (sale mail).

-A flyer for SureWest Digital TV, Super Fast Internet, Wireless, Residential......strange don't you think since my area is zoned AT&T/SBC (sale mail).

- A notice from my local bank telling me I can pay my bills on-line......duh, I already do (sale mail).

-A (for lack of a better word) spam from 'Window Broker' windows are new. (sale mail).

-And lastly, a flyer from Governor Schwarzenegger stating, "Says NO to Higher Taxes", then telling me how to vote. (sale mail).

Does anyone see a pattern here besides me? The U.S. Mail has become U.S. Sale Mail. Has email killed the postal service? Okay I know this is turning into a rant! But someone has got to keep our readers informed.

I just can't wait for Monday to see how much sale mail I have to sort through to make sure I get my 1-2 pieces of real mail.

Comments anyone?


True (Mostly) Facts

One of these is fake. See if you can find it!

An 18th-century law still on the books in Vermont makes it illegal for a woman to lick a stamp in a public place.
Anthropologists have discovered a tribe of South American monkeys with a rudimentary system of government analogous to our own three-branch form of government.
Constipation kills nearly twice as many people as diarrhea, mainly because the former mostly afflicts the old and weak while the latter mostly affects young, strong children.
It is physically impossible to urinate and give blood at the same time.
If you fill a standard 750ml wine bottle with live hornets, their angry buzzing will resonate at precisely the right frequency to shatter the glass.
During his famous "Blue Period," Pablo Picasso invented the substance that eventually became known as Play-Doh.
Every year in the fall, Niagara Falls is shut down for maintenance for 24 hours. The flow is diverted using a massive series of pipes and spigots built for this purpose in 1837.
The rare Chilean hummingbird has been known to suck blood from animals like a giant mosquito.
Tap dancers frequently forget to breathe normally during difficult routines, resulting in an average of 200 tap dancing-related tragedies per year.

Rock and roll didn't show up until Geno was born because it was waiting for him.

Oil, Asses and Terrorists

Corrine showed me an email she received telling people to boycott Citgo. Citgo, it said, is owned by Venezuela, home of Chavez the wonder ass. Chavez has been taking verbal shots at the U.S.simply because he is an ass. But being an ass and being a terrorist are two entirely different things. Here is how I explained it to Corrine.

By boycotting Citgo, you WILL harm the United States. Here is how it works.

Although Citgo may be owned by Petróleos de Venezuela, it is a formerly American company which is still headquartered in the U.S. (in Houston, Texas), employs 4,000 people, and supplies 14,000 independent retailers with gasoline and other petroleum products — Americans with no substantive connection to Venezuela who would be economically harmed by such an action. (Citgo also provides free or discounted heating oil to low-income communities and tribal reservations within the United States.) And, of course, in today's oil market Citgo could likely find alternative buyers for its products far more easily than the U.S. could make up the shortfall created by a cut-off of Venezuelan oil.

So even though the top of the Citgo chain is in Venezuela, the money spent at U.S. Citgo stations stay in the U.S. for the most part. 4,000 U.S. citizens are working at the Houston headquarters. 14,000 U.S. gas stations employing many times that number of U.S. citizens are benefiting from every dollar you spend at Citgo.

And now for the lesser of two evils. All of the oil we use is imported (Note to those who are asking, "What about the oil we drill in Texas, Oklahoma and Alaska? We sell that, we do not use any of it). The little bit of money that does go to Venezuela is fine with me. Why? Becase the money spent at other gas stations goes to the middle east. Yes, the home of the terrorists. Chavez is an ass, no doubt there. But he is NOT a terrorist!

So who is circulating this nonsense? That's right, the terrorists who would rather see your money go to them, which it does at most every other gas station. At least the large majority of money spent at Citgo stays in the U.S. And NONE of it goes to the middle east.

A Poem By Sweet

A Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...
Like his mama used to do.


Friday, September 29, 2006

Ladies, Don't Forget Your Pass



Hey, Burger King started it!

New Mobile Posting Test

Thursday, September 28, 2006


Geno and I were playing in the comments section writing limericks.

For those of you who missed it, here they are.

There once was a fellow named Geno,
Who loved to go to casinos,
Whenever he played,
He always got laid,
And would always remark, "That was keeno!"

There once was a man named Geno,
Who never would use any Beano,
His bike wouldn't start,
So he let out a fart,
And coasted all the way to Reno!

I'm on a roll. Stand back.

There once was a man named Anheiser,
Who brewed up some crap called Budweiser,
He tried hard to sell it,
But people could smell it,
That's why both of his black eyes are!

Advice For The Ladies

This from Corrine.

How to Train for a Mammogram!!!


This is from Corrine.

Dear Billy Bob,

As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck. Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear. I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today. I'm sure gonna miss that truck. Had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever. If you need to get hold of me, I'll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care, Bubba

Name Game

From Irene.

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend,who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself: "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers: "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK."
And sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself: "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."
The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure."
And he makes an eagle.
Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"
The golfer says, "Certainly."
And makes the eagle.
As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name is Father O'Malley."

Corrine Has It Figured Out

Corrine has the answer to everyone's question.

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Profiling, Right Or Wrong

Corrine has developed this quiz to show whether profiling is an acceptable practice.

See how many you can get right!

1. In 1968, Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers

b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest we be guilty of profiling. Let's send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, feel doubly ashamed of themselves -- if they have any such sense. As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so aptly put it, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Come on people wake up!!!
Our Country and our troops need our support.

The Bikers Creed

I received this from Harley Davidson. They would like me to share it with you.

Yes, I believe it.

Stupid Criminals

Criminals are a stupid lot. They will devise a plan to do wrong without considering all of the possibilities. This is a true story. It happened to me a few years ago.

I was driving to Florida to visit my parents. Travelling through South Carolina on 26, I noticed the gas gauge was getting low. It was late, after midnight, when I took an exit that had 24 hour gas. It was a rundown looking place but I wasn't moving in, I just wanted gas.

I am filling up when a shady looking fellow came walking around my car. As he got close, he pulled a gun out of his pocket and asked for my wallet. I considered his request for a few seconds and decided that I'd rather not give it to him. But I'm a nice guy, I didn't want to see him leave empty handed. And here is where things happened fast.

I pulled the gas nozzle out of my car, pointed it at him and washed him down in gasoline. He never considered that, I could tell by the look on his face. Now his gun, an asset only seconds ago, had become a liability. One shot and he would ignite himself. He looked down at himself and upon looking back up at me, he noticed me flicking my lighter. Boy that man could run. And he did, with me in hot pursuit trying to remind him that he had forgotten to take my wallet. I'm helpful that way. "Wait", I yelled, "you forgot this! Where are you going?" He no longer seemed interested in my wallet. I thought to myself, "Boy, you could really use my wallet now. You need some new clothes".

I stopped chasing him at the end of the parking lot and left him with some excellent advice. I yelled, "And remember, smoking kills!"

Monday, September 25, 2006

Made It! Corrine Never Had A Chance

I was out the door and moving fast. I looked back, dreading what might be there. It never was a good idea to upset Corrine. Trust me, I know. But as I looked back, I saw she had never even got up out of her chair. She just smiled. Whatever. I'm not going back tonite. I'll just head on home and hope she forgets about it by tomorrow.

I'm glad that' behind me. I think I'll pick up a nice beer or three on the way home. Yeah, that sounds good. Better than having to face Corrine when I do something stupid. I hate when that happens. But it's not happening tonight. And good, I say. I don't need the headache. Hey, it's not my fault I do stupid crap, is it?

Again, whatever. I'm just going to forget about it. I can't believe she just sat there. She probably figures that it's pointless to try to catch a fine physical specimen such as my self. Nope, this guy's in pretty good shape is what she probably thought. I could never catch him, yeah, that's why she sat there. Well fine. I'll just grab my keys and... and... where are my keys?

Where the hell are my keys?

Where did I leave... is that what she was holding up?


Corrine, Live And In Person

Corrine and I talked the other day.

She said, "I'm gonna bring you a picture of me in my little black dress."

I said, "Great! I knew you would come around one day. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you..."

"It's for the site, dumbass!", she replied.

"Oh? Oh, yeah, that's what I meant. I wasn't implying anything, know.."

"Go on, implying what?', she asked.

"Well, you know... LOOK OVER THERE!", I yelled and headed out the door at a full gallop.

I'm not taking any more chances!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Bill Has A New Windows

I'm going to hold off on buying this one.

Hi Bill, it's me Tramp. Remember? From '75? Yeah, that one.

If you mention Basic2 to me ever again, I'll kick your ass!

Signs Of Life

I have some signs for you.

Boy, do I have some signs for you!

First up is this. You probably noticed it out front.

I'll buy the bait, but I'm NOT shaking his hand.

Remember when this was an innocent statement?

Now I understand!
It's starting to all come together.

That reminds me of a joke. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
One has the pricks on the outside.

Alright, back to work.

Now I don't understand. Car dealers, huh?

I'll never look at bread the same way again. Never!

That'll learn ya! Or at least it should!

Faster than a speeding ballerina! Now I know why Geno makes fun of him.

Sweet Wants Answers

NOTE: This post is over now. Sweet has a final comment.

Geno you win for the most panties dropped.

Colleen I see nothing shallow about you!

I can't count number of times I have thought the same thing about Geno's ass.

serr8d, lines are sexy.

Carrie well said.

Corrine, "hot chili pepper geno" sound dangerous.

Tramp, you are someone's version of sexy. (This statement has not been verified.-Tramp)

I am assuming the count remains the same?



Today at work I asked a co-worker of the male gender to proof read a spit-fire email I was about to send. As I handed it to him I said, please proof read me, but don't make it soft I want it to sting. He said out loud that is so sexy.

I spent sometime tonight thinking about what could be sexy in my statement, and decided we need to take a survey and find out how our readers define sexy. I will be the first one to give my definition.

What is sexy ~ the ability to make me laugh ~ someone that knows everything about me and still loves me ~ someone that does not always try to fix my problems ~ strong shoulders ~ a bond that can't be broken by miles or years ~ a hot rock and rain in the desert ~ unconditional love.

Now readers don't let me down ~ what is sexy to you?

I think we will all find out a little about ourselves as we think this one over. Oh, and the guy at work, I asked him what was so sexy. He replied, a women that knows what she wants and is out to get it. . . . . . .

xxooxxo to all

What is sexy to me doesn't matter. If you asked a thousand people, you would get a thousand different answers. Everyone has their own personal version of sexy. I know it when I see it, but I don't think I could describe it. I think my wife is sexy and I can't describe her. She is simply too many things to describe, or even comprehend!

So now I am asking the readers to tell Sweet what they find sexy. What is it that gets your attention. Leave your answers in the comments and I will move them up here.

Come on readers, spill your guts and answer the nice lady.

And by the way Sweet, don't put too much thought into that statement. I know guys, I am one. He didn't find that statement all that sexy. He was hitting on you.

UPDATE: I am going to run my own survey in addition to Sweet's. This one is for the guys only and it's a high tech survey using the newest technology available.

The question is; Do women become more sexy just by removing their clothes?

Now for the high tech part. To answer this survey, just shout your answers into your computer screen. I realize that a lot of people do not understand this technology but trust me, I WILL have an accurate vote count!

The count will remain updated here.

Final Tally - YES - 115% No - 2% below zero.

This survey has been scientifically evaluated as to nutritional value and taste. It has half the calories of same sized surveys found at other sites. If you would like a statement of minimum daily requirements met by this survey, order one by yelling into your screen. Normal waiting time - 105 years.

Carrie said...
Sexy is an attitude, an understanding, intelligence, humor and kindness: the MUST HAVE is the confidence to be all at the same time!

Good answer Carrie. I have a feeling that most guys would say, "sexy is when you take off your clothes", and I really am looking for more depth than that. Kinda like what Carrie said. -Tramp

gnno said...
Sexy is looking into a pair of eyes and feeling ones heart.A soft breath of satisfaction.A long warm hug where I can feel your heartbeat.Giving a soft assuring kiss on ones cheek and tasteing your tear.Being told I love you unconditionally.........Can ya hear the panties droppin now??????

I also think a women wearing my boxers is sexy!!!!

No comment. Nope, not touching it. -Tramp

corrine said...
hot chili peppers geno

Chili peppers, Mmmmm! -Tramp

Sweet said...
Tramp, there is not an office guy that could even turn my head. I think men are sexy when their hands are rough from working with them and I like the smell of a man that has worked with wood all day!

Carrie, it does not matter to Geno if the boxers are clean or dirty.
Geno, is this your way of telling everyone about my "I thought I saw a pussy cat" boxers with Tweed Bird? Remember those? I still have and still wear em`.
Corrine, what about chili peppers? Do you use them the way I use popcicles?

Serr8d said...
Sexy is the lines that turn into curves...

Serr8d, that comment is sexy. I'll bet you write ad copy. -Tramp

gnno said...
Number one; If I've worn the boxers first and she doesn't mind, why would I care?

Number Two; Sweet, your not tellin the truth. I'm an office guy. I've turned your head more than once...And third; I do remember your tweeties......

Geno, if you are an office guy, then I'm the Pope! Come on now, I've seen your office. It says Harley Davidson on it!

colleen said...
To me, sexy is a good looking man with a nice ass firmly planted on a Harley that's rumblin' low and loud. Yea I'm shallow. So what? I am Geno's sister! Did you read his answer? He's just trying to get the panties to drop!

I beg your pardon Colleen! Exactly how is a Harley shallow? -Tramp

Sweet said...
Oh Geno you still work with your hands! and smell woody!

I really don't want to know what a woody smells like! -Tramp

Sweet said...
Tramp, you finally got two abby-normal's NO wait maybe everyone else is abby-normal and Geno and I are NORMAL and SANE.

I ain't abby-normal, I is unaverage! -Tramp

gnno said...
Hey Sis nice to finally hear you with imput. I wondered where you've been. Your right tho. That was kinda shallow.

Sweet!!!I smell Woody???? And I know Im Abby-Normal. I refuse to be Average!!!!!! Oh and Sis, I did get em to drop!!!! I'M SURE I HEARD SEVERAL PAIRS HIT THE FLOOR....

colleen said...
Oh Bro! How you get them all to do it is beyond me! Don't want to know, just don't want to know!

I'm with Colleen on this one! Of course, I'm with Colleen on a lot of stuff.
Cept dem Browns!-Tramp

And this just in from Anon.

Anonymous said...
To me, sexy is a woman who isn't afraid to enjoy the company of another woman or maybe four men. Perhaps some farm animals. A midget or 2. Oh yea, now thats SEXY!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Corrine Is Being A Bitch

Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.

That is one of my favorite quotes.
As to the rest of this post, Corrine wrote this. Not me.
Do I look stupid.

Well, if I do think Corrine is a bitch, then it is only by my own definition which I will give at the end of this post.


When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

And now for my own definition of BITCH

as it relates to Corrine.

Corrine Tells Us About Lulu

Lulu is like Geno.

A troublemaker!

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the Police station as they took them in one by one. As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.

Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for. Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting.

Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.

When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed. He said, How the heck do you do this at your age?" She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck'em dry!"

The policeman fainted.

Cheech And Chong, Sweet Style

Tramp and readers,
Just a little introduction to my upcoming book review!
I am off to buy the "The I Chong" now (Tommy Chong's new book).

Cheech and Chong~Where are they now?

Tommy Chong, the worlds most famous hippie stoner, is now the 68-year-old. He recently spent a little time in the slammer for selling bongs, however he is back on the outside telling a tale, 'The I Chong'.
Cheech Marin is has re-invented himself as an actor. After Tommy and Cheech went their separate ways, Cheech made the transition to television and co-starred with Don Johnson in 'Nash Bridges'. Currently, you can see Cheech on 'Celebrity Duets' where he is hoping to set in to motion a singing career.

So this weekend I am going to settle in, hit my favorite substance of choice, and read Tommy's story of how he wound up in the slammer, and how comedy helped him, get through his prison stay.

So please keep reading the 'Tramp's Riverbank'.

Sweet's book review is on the way!


Sweet and of course readers,

Tommy Chong was charged and jailed in Pittsburgh, my back yard. I used to visit his site often, Did you know that they had to change their original name because it put the Hispanic community in an uproar? They originally called themselves Spic and Span. I saw Cheech Marin on Tonite With Jay Leno last year. Jay had secreted Tommy Chong in without Cheech's knowledge. And an unexpected reunion occurred. It was great, the first time they had seen each other in years. Jay asked them if the drug persona was an act. They replied that they didn't know what he meant. He said, "You don't really use drugs, do you?" Tommy Chong about crapped himself. He immediately responded, "Dude, we're Cheech and Chong, you can't be serious". He said that they were able to pull off the drug act so well because it was no act. He even went so far as to say the drugs they used in their movies were real. Jay couldn't believe it. And I couldn't believe Jay was that naive.


A little more about Tommy's arrest.
Tommy Chong's glass bongs were beautiful works of art. You didn't have to use them for drugs. They were decorative pieces and very tastefully done. The arrest was bogus. They said it was possible to use them for illegal drug consumption. You could do that with a potato! And what about the rolling papers available everywhere? Not to mention that every gas station and convienence store now sells crack pipes! It's true, they disguise them by inserting a fake flower. But it is a crack pipe. Where is the justice?

Tommy was made a scape goat on a bogus arrest. And I am ashamed of Pittsburgh for pursuing what they had to know were bogus charges. If they didn't know those charges were bogus, then I am ashamed of their stupidity.

A Nun And A Priest...

This is an oldie from Corrine, but it is good.
I was telling this joke in Junior High, about 300 years ago.

Keep in mind, if you laugh, you are SO going to Hell!

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.
On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation.

After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this pretty grim."
"I know, father."
"In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."
"I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?"
"Anything, Father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."
The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?"

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes, Sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe.
"Oh Father, may I touch it?"

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life."
"Is that true father?"

"Yes, it is, Sister."
"Oh Father that's wonderful, stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here."

Social Insecurity

Sally is here to give her opinion on the Social Security system.

Sally's commentary is always short and to the point, as it were.

Willie's Weed

Willie Nelson smokes pot? OH NO!

Water is wet? CAN'T BE!

Next you'll be telling me that the sky is blue!


Willie Nelson's Stash
Evidence photo of items seized in pot-puffing singer's tour bus bust

SEPTEMBER 22--Music and marijuana fans alike will appreciate this evidence photo memorializing the stash seized earlier this week from Willie Nelson's tour by Louisiana state police. During a September 18 traffic stop, cops smelled a strong odor of pot emanating from Nelson's bus. A subsequent search of the vehicle turned up about 1-1/2 pounds of pot and a bag of mushrooms. The drugs were later photographed on the hood of a police cruiser. Nelson, 73, and four other bus passengers (ages 75, 59, 54, and 50) were issued misdemeanor drug possession citations and released at the scene.

This is a shame and a sin. I can't believe a grown man would be out doing this...

And not invite us!

From The Smoking Gun.

This concludes today's edition of Mr. Obvious.

Mr. Obvious is always the first with breaking news about the painfully obvious.

Oh, one more thing.


Footnote: Willie's rendition of "Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain" has to be the greatest recorded song in history, bar none. No one can touch it like Willie. If you have never heard it, what the hell is wrong with you?

I believe Willie should issue a statement saying he accepts the charges under the condition that the law enforcement community is forbidden to ever listen to any of his music ever again.

He should sign this statement, "Don't like me, don't like my music".


Update: I asked a law enforcement officer about this offer. He said it was fine with him. I said it should be made a criminal offense for a law enforcement officer to listen to Willie. He said fine, he doesn't listen now.

So I told him I was going to tell my readers this; The next time you get stopped by a cop, just pop in a Wille CD and he is obligated by law to go away. He said, "Wait a minute..." I said, No changes for ever and ever!".

Sorry Sweet!

From Corrine, with some slight editing by me.

Geno emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when Sweet complained as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect timing," Geno said." I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you..........."

Ain't That The Crap

Corrine has been to the new Super Supermarket and has this report for you.

The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackleand the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

What Are Friends For?

Certainly not for drinking with.

And here is Carrie, from the Moon Connection, to show you why.

Thursday, September 21, 2006


Degree Woman

Acidophilus Pearls These are great. I use them.

Airborne Health

T Shirt


Found The Stash

Could this be Bobby's child?

I'll Get This One Sweet

And now it's time for...


Bobby took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged Bobby in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. " The wife gave Bobby a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke Bobby's ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
Bobby looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

NOTE: Bobby's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and he is expected to make a full recovery.

Boomer Facts

Check out some interesting facts about this unique population.

By 2050, the population of the United States over the age of 85 will grow at a rate of eight times the population of the entire country!

Baby Boomers have different attitudes toward money than their parents, who were shaped by the Depression and World War II, and their children, who have grown up with access to easy credit and the tendency to spend money they may not have.

These same Boomers also are likely to spend an increasing amount of their money on alcoholic beverages (especially beer and wine), home improvements and furniture, and consumer electronics ranging from cell phones to televisions.

While they are willing to spend money on themselves in retirement, Baby Boomers remain anxious over their economic well-being and are concerned with the solvency of Social Security and balancing their retirement needs with the cost of paying tuition for their children. They may not even want to retire, preferring to find a second or even a third career that will offer some kind of fulfillment and their desire to maintain a high level of intellectual and physical activity as they age.

Encouraged by doctors to continue to exercise three to five times a week for their health, many Boomers are running, swimming, and biking, testing the limits of their middle-aged body's abilities while crowding the nation's operating rooms and orthopedists' offices. Knee and hip replacements, surgery for cartilage and ligament damage, and treatment for tendonitis, arthritis, bursitis and stress fractures are evidence of this. In medical circles, this is known as "Boomeritis."

That Corrine

Corrine sent me this.
At first I thought... Well, you'll see.

Thought For The Day

Good looks catch the eye but a GOOD personality catches the heart.

You're blessed with both!

Don't be flattered!

This message was sent to ME!!

I just wanted YOU to read it!


Tag! You're it, pass it on!